What She Didnt Know

Chapter 3: Heartache

I wake up to the smell of bacon. My eyes are still shut but I feel my stomach rumble. I forgot how much I hate hangovers. I hear a door open and footsteps make their way to the bed. "Hey" I hear a voice say. I feel someone shake my shoulder. "Hey I brought you food." I look up and see Collin standing over me with a plate in his hand. "I figured you might need it." He says. I sit up and take the plate from him. It's eggs and bacon. I thank him and pick at the plate in front of me. He sits down and watches me eat. "Don't you think it's a little rude to watch a woman eat?" I say as I shove a piece of bacon into my mouth. "I didnt mean to be rude. I just have a hard time believing you don't have a boyfriend and you can look this beautiful shoving bacon into your mouth." I stop chewing. It takes me a second to comprehend what he just said. I don't comment and toss another piece of bacon into my mouth. It only takes me five minutes to finish the food on my plate. As I toss the last piece of bacon into my mouth Collin stands up and walks to his dresser. He pulls out a pair of shorts and walks back towards me. He hands me the shorts and holds his hand out for my plate. "Do you want anything to drink?" He asks. He has to feel bad for being a dick yesterday and now he's making up for it. Tyler did the same thing. The day after he beat the hell out of me was always a good day. Sometimes I hated the tension in my house so much I would intentionally do something to piss him off just so we could have one good day. Something as simple as leaving a dish in the sink unwashed could set him over the edge. I look back up at this man waiting for me to answer his question. "Do you have coffee?" He smiles. "I'm in college. Of course I have coffee." He takes the plate from my hand and heads to the door. Before he opens the door he looks back at me. "Put the shorts on. You can keep them and the shirt. I'm pretty sure your clothes reek from last night." And with that statement he walks out the room. I throw his shorts on over my panties and walk over to his dresser. It has a mirror behind it and I examine myself. I throw my hair up in a messy bun and rub the makeup off my face. By the time I'm done he's walking back through the door with my coffee. He glances at me and makes his way back over to the bed. He puts my coffee down on his end table and lays down in the spot that was previously occupied by me. He just stares at me. I feel so vulnerable. The way he's looking at me feels like he's looking at every part of me. I feel goosebumps forming on my arms. I rub my them and make my way to the bed. I have a seat right in front of him. I pick up my coffee and start taking little sips. I was halfway done before he opened his mouth to speak. "You know you snore, right?" I laugh. "Did I keep you up last night with my snoring?" I ask. He shakes his head. "I'm pretty use to the noise. There's three guys that live here and unfortunately I'm the only one who hates to party." That caught me by surprise. He looked pretty wasted last night for a guy who doesn't like to party. It reminds me he said something about having a bad day yesterday. "So, what did a girl leave you yesterday and that was the reason for your shitty day?" It's out of my mouth before I could stop myself. It definitely caught him by surprise because his face fell. He brings his hands to his face and rubs his eyes. When he looks back up at me the happiness in his eyes were gone. "You could say that I guess." There was a pause. "I found out two nights ago the girl I thought I would spend forever with, was cheating on me with my best friend. I've known him since I was 9. We were together for 4 years." I can tell he's being honest. I wonder how he caught her. I tried so long to catch Tyler cheating on me. I thought maybe he was finding his happiness elsewhere. I tried so hard to find out why he felt the need to beat the shit out of me. Cheating was just one of my assumptions behind his abusive behavior. I never caught him, though. I tried snooping through his phone every so often. Listening to work phone calls. Tracking his credit cards. I could never find anything to pinpoint that he was cheating. So if he was he was pretty good at hiding it.

Looking at the sadness in Collins eyes makes my heart ache. He doesn't seem like Tyler. Tyler always wanted to seem like a badass. This person in front of me has acted pretty genuine. Maybe that's what a heartbreak will do to a man. If you can actually make your way to his heart. I still don't believe I fully made contact with Tyler's heart. I might have touched it way back when I was in love with him. Back when he did and said all the right things to make me fall in love with him. Somehow this girl managed to make her way into Collins heart and completely took advantage of it. Slut.

"She didn't deserve you. And neither did your friend." His lips curl a little. In this moment I wish I had the smile back. So much sadness surrounds his face.

Soph always says cuddles makes her feel better. So I feel like it's appropriate. We've already set our boundaries, right? I told him I wasn't interested in a boyfriend. He just got out of a long term relationship and she broke his heart. I look at Collin and climb under the covers. I lay on my side and put my left arm under the pillow in front of me. I can feel his eyes on me, probably unsure of my intentions. "I'm still not having sex with you. But there's no rules about cuddling, right?" It takes him a minute to absorb my words, but he climbs into bed behind me. I scoot back against him causing both our body's to touch. The warmth of his skin causes my eyes to close. He wraps his arm around my stomach and pulls me closer to him.

I.
Can't.
Breathe.

I don't know how this man causes my body to shut down. It's like I lose all control when I'm close to him. Tyler never had this affect on me. I can feel the creases of his muscles against my hip. I'm not a skinny girl but I'm not fat either. I'd say I'm pretty average. I did carry a child for 9 months after all. Collin brings his left arm under my pillow, grabbing ahold of my hand. I didn't realize how much I needed to feel someone else's skin until I felt body pressed against mine. I close my eyes and absorb this moment.

I wake up to the sound of something vibrating. I open my eyes. I don't recognize the bed I'm in. I feel a body wrapped around me. That's when it hits me, I'm still at Collins. I reach for my phone beside the bed and pull my phone out of my back pocket. Shit. It's 4 o clock. I have 12 missed calls and 4 texts from my mom and two texts from Sarah. I decide I'll open the ones from Sarah later.

10:18AM: Mom - Good Morning, Sweetheart. Just checking on you.

10:36AM: Mom- I was expecting you to come home last night. I don't mind but Soph is asking for you.

11:49AM - Mom- okay Kris, I'm getting worried. Please call or text me soon. This isn't like you.

3:30PM: Mom - KRIS I SWEAR YOU BETTER ANSWER ME BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!

I jump out of bed and throw on my shoes. I order an Uber and I grab my dress off the floor and then I feel eyes on me. I look back at the bed and see Collin staring at me with a smirk on his face. "I haven't slept that good in ages. Not planning on saying bye?" I smile at him. "You're a great cuddler. I still have to wait for my Uber." I sit on the bed and text my mom letting her know I'm fine and I'm on the way home. I really hope she didn't call the cops.

Collin wraps his arms around my waist as I sit on the edge of the bed, his face pressed against my back. I think about the man holding onto me. I think about the heartbreak he's endured the past 48 hours. I think about Sophia and how I need to be better for her. As much as Collin affects me, it's not healthy for me to be in a relationship. The last thing I need is to be wrapped up in another man. I have to build a life for my daughter. My phone pings signaling the Uber is outside. I tell Collin bye by kissing him on the cheek. I thank him for keeping me safe last night and I head outside. I leave one of the best nights I've had in the past, along with the man who swept me off my feet.