Darkness

Part Four

"It's important to me." His voice was quiet, gentle, it reminded her of how Cub had asked her about her "battle scars".

She had to think of something. With a quick pause she tried to come up with a valid excuse. She had used lack of sleep as an excuse for far too long, and wasn't sure it'd pass this time.

"I just... Haven't been eating much. I guess my stomach got used to not having food, and just sorta... shut off," She told him, hoping to make it a little humorous. Anakin's smile stayed the same gentle it had been the whole time and replied, seemingly convinced.

"Well then why don't we give food a try?" He stood up, holding out his hand to the tired, pretty obviously malnourished teen at his feet. She had a hint of that same gentle smile on her face, as she realized that the voices were getting duller.

"Sure." Ahsoka grabbed his hand. She had a feeling that it could be a good day after all.

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They wandered the halls quietly. The sun had since set, and not many people were wandering the halls. The mess hall would probably be just as quiet, which pleased Ahsoka. She wouldn't have to keep up the act, the smile, for anyone other than Anakin. At least Anakin already knew she was struggling (to some extent).

They waited a moment for the old door to slide open, and walked into exactly what they had expected: Almost no one was in, the ration packets were a little picked over, and Ahsoka was still rather happy about it. She didn't care what she got, as long as it was meat.

"Anything meat." Anakin knew this and threw a packet at her that was labeled meat (although neither of them cared to check what the meat was), and got some leftover hot food from dinner that night that was staying warm in a warming oven nearby.

"Sure you don't want any?" He teased a little as they both sat down at a table near the far corner.

"Nope." Her answer wasn't snippy, wasn't sarcastic, just a "nope." It was unlike old Ahsoka, but in the recent months, it's about as much as Anakin expected.

"You're not telling me everything," He said to her after He had swallowed a bite and Ahsoka was still struggling to put one in her mouth.

"Be grateful I told you something." She was right. Ahsoka isn't what you'd call an open book, and telling Anakin that she hadn't been able to eat, that was a pretty big step. He just nodded and went back to his food.

By the time Anakin had finished his meal, Ahsoka had barely taken three bites, and she looked like she couldn't really stomach even just that. He was compassionate. He knew that she was struggling. "Why don't we take it back with us," He said after emptying his hands of the paper plate and coming back to the table. Ahsoka nodded, happy for the excuse. She had already started feeling nauseous, and didn't know if she could stand another bite of the chicken flavored jerky (Although she still didn't bother looking at what it actually was).

They started walking back towards the door when a familiar face walked through the door; Familiar to Ahsoka anyway.

"Hey kid," Cub said, walking through the entrance. "Fancy meeting you here."

She questioned how she had just seen him in the medbay ten, fifteen minutes before, and he was now casually walking into the mess hall. Noticing this he continued. "I'm on break, I was hoping I might see you again."

Anakin was still confused, he didn't know the clone, he was sure of that. "Master Skywalker, this is Cub." She introduced them, Anakin nodding in acknowledgment. He realized the connection when he saw the medical symbol on the Cub's armor and figured he was the clone who treated Ahsoka.

"You forgot this." He pulled Ahsoka's glove out and handed it to her. She realized she must have left it when she rushed out, but luckily for her the bandage covered the scars pretty well.

"Oh, um, thank you." She quickly slid the glove/protective armor back on her wrist, despite the sting of pain it sent up her arm for being a little too tight.

"Take care kid," He said, walking towards the ration packets displayed on a long counter on one side of the room.

"He's the clone that treated you earlier?" Anakin asked as they walked out, just to clarify.

"Yup." She gave yet another short answer. The encounter had only raised her anxieties, which further upset her already churning stomach. 

"Almost there," Anakin told her, picking up the pace a little when he noticed the even paler look on her face and the fidgeting hands. They were close to their dorm and Ahsoka was relieved when they opened the door, finally being able to stop fighting the bile riding slowly up her throat and ran to the bathroom. Anakin walked towards the bathroom where she had retreated to, seeing how much the recent encounter with food had upset her. Ahsoka was found hunched over the toilet, embarrassed that she let her master see her like this. But Anakin only sat down with her and gently rubbed her back and shoulders. When she had hacked up what little food she had eaten that day, Anakin stood up and got her water from a paper cup beside the sink.

Ahsoka was embarrassed, Anakin was only worried. Ahsoka was a lot of things, but weak wasn't one of them, and neither was vulnerable or quiet. It finally started getting to him how much his Padawan had changed, and was getting afraid for her.

"You should go lie down." He told her, offering his hand to the hunched over figure. He looked at her differently this time and really saw the physical affects of whatever was going on. She was so much thinner than her already thin self had been, her usually tight clothes hung off her. Her eyes had a distinct gray color to them instead of the bright blue they used to be, there were bags forming under them from lack of sleep, and she just looked so... Sick. How hadn't he seen it before?

She left the bathroom with no objection, just hoping to get away and try to find the sweet release of sleep again. She wanted nothing more than to cut again, but throwing up had drained any ounce of energy she previously had, and she couldn't even make herself change into anything more comfortable before falling hard on her bed and giving in to the exhaustion.

Anakin ran his hands through his hair, hoping it would relax his worried body. When he was satisfied that Ahsoka was truly asleep, he slipped out to find Obi-Wan. He might not be his master anymore, but he needed help. He knew something was very wrong with Ahsoka, but he couldn't get enough out of her to come to a conclusion. All he knew was that she looked so sick, like she hadn't slept a good night in days, weeks even, and she could hardly consume food without hacking it up; he didn't even know how Obi-Wan would help, but someone he felt he could.