Pen Pals ||Shelby and Toni||

Writing

*disclaimer* in this chapter it will be talking about suicide and in the chapter I say that Shelby is relieved that she gets a women Uber driver. This isn't to say that women can't harm people it's just to kind of see Shelby mind set of what her father has drilled into her.

"What do you mean?" Toni is staring at Shelby who is looking at the floor. "Toni I can't date you. My- my parents..." Shelby is fidgeting with the cross on her necklace. "They I- we can't-" Toni sits down on the couch. She's pissed but is trying not to get to upset for Shelby. "Why can't we? Your parents don't have to know." Shes staring at the bowl of junk on the coffee table when she feels a thud on the couch next to her.

"You don't want that." Shelby finally says after a few second. "It doesn't work Toni I know it doesn't." Shelby's voice is thick. She's trying hard to hold back tears.
~~~~~

"I think you should go." Toni still refuses to look at her. Her eyes focused on the coffee table and it's contents . Shelby gets up quickly and flinches when she hears things falling hard to the ground.

She walks down the street a couple of blocks. It's darker now so she stops by the closest building and pulls out her phone to call an Uber. She stops when she recognizing what building she has stopped by.
~~~~~

Three years ago:

"Hey I said that I wanted to have the last mozzarella stick." Shelby says lightly pushing Becca. Becca's birthday was a week ago but Shelby and her wanted to celebrate by themselves today. "Oh come on. It's my birthday present." She laughs taking a bite of the stick.

"Oh yea well I guess I'll just take this one back home." Shelby picks up the present she bought for Becca and makes a run for it. "She doesn't get far considering she's in bowling shoes and Becca is pretty fast.

"No no no I'll take that." Becca walks back to there table and sits down. "Do you wanna open it now?" Shelby asks. She hands her a card to read first. Becca reads the card and hums a response to the message Shelby wrote on it.

The gift Shelby had given her was in a small bag that was all black. She had gotten a silver sharpie to write a inside joke they had on the paper. Becca removes the wrapping paper and gives it to Shelby. "Thanks for your trash." She says playfully rolling her eyes while crumbling it up and putting it in the trash can. "You love it." Becca teases.

Becca pulls out a small box and within that box is a gold necklace with a small heart on it. "Shelby you didn't need to." She looks over at Shelby who is smiling giddily at her. "Becca it's your 18th birthday. It's special." Becca reaches over and gives her a warm hug. Shelby smells her hair. It smells of jasmine.
~~~~~

Shelby shakes out of her thoughts. She calls an Uber and waits impatiently outside of the bowling alley. She refuses to step into it. Even though it's getting cold and she's shivering outside. She hasn't been in there in more than a year. Not since she...

She doesn't want to think about. Her. She thought about her enough. Every single day. Until a couple of months ago.
~~~~~

A few months ago:

"...help me be what you intended." Shelby has heard this so many times. So many times she didn't care who was saying it and to whom. But now she's here. At conversion fucking therapy.

Her father has sent her here for a whole month. A month of bible study and 'asking myself if I really want to go down this path.' I told him she didn't matter to me anymore. That she out of my life. I told him lies that I never cared about her. That I have never loved her.

She did care and She did love her. And now even after She said She didn't she's still here. Shelby wants to cry and scream and curse at the lord. But instead she puts on the southern pageant Queen smile and goes to lunch.
~~~~~