Nights In White Satin - Trixya

Closer by The Hour

Sunday, 3th of November 1968:

It was getting dark outside, on another mundane Sunday for her. Her body was resting on the couch while her gaze was on the ceiling. Still, she hadn't had the guts to get up and walk to her friend's house and talk to her. Her nervousness was prominent throughout the whole day, since her mind was running wild, thinking of the many possibilities their talk could end with and what could happen.

Today she hated that her home was so silent, it made her feel even lonelier than she was. But she had her music which held her company. Especially Dolly's voice. She had put on her latest record, the one she already had listened to countless times. 'Closer by The Hour' was playing in the back.

"We come closer with each kiss and I feel your lips insist

But I do your will and love you more and more

Although we know it's wrong we can't stay where we belong

And we get closer closer by the hour"

Trixie was biting her lower lip, anxious by the minute as she heard those lyrics, resonating in her head. Her chest ached in aguishment, she was so scared of the fact that in the worst case scenario, their relationship could be ruined forever after their talk. But being here wasn't going to fix anything. She shouldn't be here, she should be with her. Speaking to her and finding an answer to all of her confused thoughts; to end for once all of this uncertainty that was killing her on the inside.

"I'm done, I can't deal with this anymore," she murmured to herself. She got up and looked herself in the mirror, fixing her appearance before going out. 'You can do It' , she tried to convince her reflection.

***

Before knocking the door, she breathed in. Her nerves were making her hands shake but she still knocked. 'Coming' she heard from the russian. A few seconds later, that felt like an eternity, the door opened. Trixie thought that she might pass out, her stomach churning from the distress that she was feeling.

Katya's surprise was evident and quickly she started to look equally as nervous as her. There was something else in her eyes, she looked physically drained and worried.

"T-Trixie" She stuttered, clearly not expecting for her to come so suddenly. Her accent betrayed the russian and showed how jittery she was.

"Hi. I came here because I really need to talk to you. Can I come in?" Trixie asked, hesitant and shy. It was strange to feel like that with Katya.

"Oh, yeah come in..." The smaller woman made room for her in the doorway so she could enter. As she did, she stayed beside the couch. Instantly she could sense the tension and how weird this was. They were never like this. "Please sit," Katya said, making a gesture towards the furniture next to her. So, Trixie sat down. Her friend sat with her but kept space between them. Before it could get more awkward, she decided to talk.

"So...What...I'm..." Trixie started, fumbling her words. She closed her eyes, taking another breath. As she opened them, it was hard to look at Katya in the eyes. So she avoided them. "Look Katya...I...adore our friendship. You know you're my best friend..." As she said those last words, she dared to look at the Russian for a moment. She seemed to be defeated and saddened, her gaze on the floor. It was so tough to see her like that, she didn't look like herself at all. "Well...what happened the other day, was shocking to me. I never thought that I was going to kiss a girl in my life. I still can't understand what happened..." She sighed a little bit frustrated, since it was getting hard to express herself. "I just wanted you to know that I don't want us to be like this. I hate that we're feeling awkward and we barely speak to each other. I really don't want to lose you... you don't know how much you mean to me..." She felt some tears welling up in her eyes, feeling more frustrated and anguished than before. So she stopped talking, unable to continue as she got emotional. After a few moments later she heard Katya's timid but firm voice again.