Things That Annoy Me

Mental Health Update

Hello followers,

I thought I'd give a little update on how I'm feeling- for my sake mainly.

Before COVID happened I was dealing with a lot of anxiety issues. School definitely seemed to be the root cause of it. I was feeling so anxious all of the time, like my my mind and body were on high alert at all times, making me feel extremely sick and incredibly drained- not to mention the added stress of A levels.

Soon after, I began developing stomach cramps, leading to bad digestion. At one point I thought it may have been a bad reaction to something that I had eaten but I know now that it's just stress. I've eaten the same things for my entire life so suddenly having an allergic reaction to a food wouldn't make sense- it just must have been my anxiety.

So now I experience nausea, stomach cramps as well as the common symptoms that happen alongside it- increased heart rate, clammy hands (which I would always get) etc.

I know it's not good to "self-diagnose" but I feel like what I've been experiencing is full blown anxiety. It's not normal.

Covid has definitely made it worse as now I have more worries than just school worries. These ones involve concern for my health and my family's health, something that everyone has been panicking over lately. Perhaps I've developed some kind of health anxiety from all of this.

Covid also meant that I had more time off school. Surely this would be a good break for my anxious ass butttt apparently not. It's only just delaying the inevitable (of going back into a classroom) and the more time I'm pulled out of school, the more anxious I fear I'll be. All of the unknown and unpredictability is just making everything 10x worse. Not knowing when I'll be back in a classroom and then endlessly worrying about how I'll feel when I'm back there.

Some would say not to worry about it as it's something you can't control, but it doesn't work like that. Not with anxiety.

Recently I learnt in clinical psychology that people wth OCD (an anxiety disorder) have this thing called the "worry circuit" where their OFC (orbitofrontal cortex), striatum and thalamus are all impacted by serotonin and dopamine imbalances. Apparently these imbalances can cause the striatum or thalamus to malfunction, meaning that the striatum cannot suppress minor worries causing the thalamus to be on high alert. This worry can be sent back to the OFC through signals, amplifying the worry.

I guess you could say this is what goes on in an anxious person's brain too.

Not to reduce someone's daily stresses to down this level or anything though.

No, I know the pain is a lot bigger than this.

Anyway I thought I would come in and check on all of you guys: make sure you're sleeping ok and eating alright. I know this is hypocritical of me to advise but please try and get the right amount of sleep and eat healthy foods. They all play a big part in how you feel.

And also a friendly reminder to drink water 💦💦.

All of these things are so important for your health right now, especially during these current, scary times 💓

Sending good vibes your way,

💎Gemsnjewels💎