Brown Eyes

Ka'rta

Standing on shaking legs Din grabbed the back of your arm helping to stabilize you. His touch was different than it was moments ago. He was pounding into you letting you fuel his desire as he rocked into his own oblivion and now as his arm cradled your waist he held you as if you might break. Tenderly he led you over to the jump seat letting you collect yourself for a moment. He crouched to the floor picking up your clothes and bringing them to you.

"Thanks" You offered as you lifted your shirt above your head covering yourself. The air felt heavy and again with the helmet on his head, it made it impossible to read any emotion or try and get a general idea on how he was feeling. "Can I see you?" You asked as you looked down at your hands trying your best to keep your confidence.

"I can't."

"But I've seen it."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not the Mandalorian way."

"Don't you think after what we just did I deserve a little bit of flexibility with that?"

"I don't need you to understand why I do the things that I do but you will respect them."

"That hardly seems fair. I thought-" He slammed his hand on the flight deck cutting you off.

"You thought, that was the problem. There are things happening all around you that you don't understand. The sooner you realize that the galaxy doesn't revolve around you the better, mesh'la."

"You know what? I don't appreciate you thinking that I am some naive little girl. You don't know shit about me and I don't think you care about me at all. I am smart enough to know that. You make it pretty obvious when you do that. You can't even call me by my fucking name, it's always one of these fucking pet names in a language you know I don't understand. Here's the thing, Din I am so sick of being the fucking but of your joke."

"You see? Wrong again, cyar'ika."

"What the fuck is your deal man? That's not my fucking name!"

"Mesh'la is a Mandalorian word. It means beautiful, cyar'ika means darling."

"Oh." He took a step closer to you closing the space between you. He placed his hand on your face.

"I do care.... I'm just not good at showing it."

You stood and grabbed his hand running your fingers over his knuckles soothing the skin there. You brought the hand to your face kissing the palm before letting it return to your cheek. You closed your eyes and leaned into him. Softly wading in what felt like a sea of intimacy when it was hardly more than a raindrop.

"If this is how it's going to be, Din. I don't think I can do this." You said as you opened your eyes and releasing his hand. It slowly fell from your face leaving small shockwaves of electricity in its wake. The loss of warmth suddenly left an emptiness surrounding you. You said nothing else as you left him standing alone in the cockpit like he so desperately wanted to be. He had chosen his solitude over you and that was something you both would just have to live with. It was hard enough on you opening yourself up to anyone and if they weren't willing to offer you the same respect then you had to take what was left of your dignity and walk away.

Walking back to your quarters you could feel the wetness between your legs squelching down your thighs, stopping at the refresher was an option but you knew you needed more than a quick wipe down. The only problem with that was the shower was in the refresher in Din's room which he always kept locked. You assumed it was because the weapons were also kept in there but you didnt pry. It wasn't your space so it wasn't your business, regardless of what he thought you knew how to keep your curiosity at bay. You spun around turning back to the cockpit, knocking before you opened the door this time, not wanting to give him a reason to be caught off guard.