Where The Moon Meets The Sun (Stanley Barber x male oc)

chapter 3 | not butterflies but worms |

I did some research on the time 'i'm not okay with this' took place. Turns out; it was anywhere between 1998 and 2006. 'call me by your name' (which is referenced in this chapter) came out in 2017. However, for the sake of the fic, I kept it in. Not that it's crucial to the plot but I just really like how Auston and Stanley's little moment turned out.

TW: drug use, panic attack, mention of suicide and smoking

(word count: 2100)

（〃｀ 3′〃）

"I'm surprised you like watching this stuff. It's so lame" "It's the opposite of lame, Auston. it's theatre. it's live theatre. Westinghouse Memorial High School on a Friday night. What could be more tragic, more Shakespearean?" Stan tells me "The moment the lights come up on Hamlet, you know it's not gonna end well" I take a long swig of my milkshake Stan and I got on the way to the pep.

"Take uh... Mr Bradley Lewis. His best scenario is, what, managing some regional insurance sales company? Where he gets to, I don't know, call shots on 'employee of the month'? I mean these are the people who will actually attend the five, ten, 20-year reunion because aside from this, nothing else all that noteworthy is gonna happen. this is as good as it gets for them and I like watching em, like Hamlet. When everything goes to shit in the end and everyone dies" Stan finishes his rant and I finally realize I was intensely staring at Stanley throughout his entire explanation.

I blush and quickly look back at the game again.

（〃｀ 3′〃）

Stan pulls up to his house and he and I get out of the car. Stan welcomes me into his home with an exaggerated bow which makes me laugh far too loud. Luckily his dad isn't home yet. We walk down to the basement and I look around Stan's room if you can even call his room a room. He has the whole basement for himself. I audibly gasp and hear Stan laugh behind me.

"Holyshit. Your room is fucking cool," I say looking back at Stan. I take a double take when I notice Stanley was already looking at me. "I know right," he says while walking over to the record player. I walk past a bunch of his VHS tapes recognizing a couple of tapes until my eyes land on the 'call me by your name' tape. I have watched 'call me by your name' a good handful of times. That should have been the time I realized what I realized just a few hours ago.

"Oh my god, you got 'call me by your name' on tape?" I ask doubting if my voice sounds normal enough. I can't really tell by the weed still making my mind foggy. I don't really want Stanley to know I'm gay yet. Especially when I'm not even sure. I'll tell Stanley myself when I feel like it.

I turn to Stanley who's looking rather scared. "Uh yeah," he mumbles "Cool," I grin nodding. I try not to laugh when I can feel Stanley's eyes drilling into my face, searching for a reaction. Negative or positive. 

I can almost feel the tension in the room when a slightly awkward silence falls. Even though this one isn't anywhere near as awkward with Sydney around, it still makes me cringe.

"I don't care" I mumble silently. "You don't?" Stan ask surprised, eyes going wide. "Course not. I mean, I totally get why you would think I'd judge you. Nobody here is even slightly, you know...reasonable. They're stuck in the 50's" I say making Stan laugh because he knows it's very accurate. The entire village is naive. They're no space for anybody who's different. It's really a matter of time before you get beaten up. The only adult that I think might not mind it is our school counsellor. "D'you wanna smoke again" Stanley asks me and I just shrug.

Half an hour later we're stoned out of our minds, lying on the floor.

"Okay, would you...would you rather be a jellyfish or an eagle?" Stanley asks me in a slurred way. "Eagle definitely," "Okay you next".