Where The Moon Meets The Sun (Stanley Barber x male oc)

Chapter 6, part 2 | paranoid |

TW; little slither of internalized homophobia, and mention of a dead family member

(word count; 1700)

（〃｀ 3′〃）

Sid and I are sitting on a bench during the first break. Sid is just finishing up her science homework when I see Dina walking over to us. "Hey, you guys are supposed to tell me everything, that's what best friends do right" "Right," Sid and I say in sync.

"Why did we steal that tape?" Dina asks. "We already told. I accidentally pushed Sid against one of the book cabinets," I say way too practised. I sound like a fucking Disney channel character. "I saw the library. A little push doesn't make the tables and chairs tumble over. You lied to me. You made me steal something with no idea why. Can you two take a moment to realize how shitty that is...If we get suspended-" "We won't" Sid protests.

"But if we do, I think I deserve to know what the hell is going on. What happened in the library and why did we have to cover it up and why won't y'all just tell me?" Dina asks.

Only if we could JUST tell you.

"I'm sorry Dina, but we really can't" Sid looks down at her notebook obviously uncomfortable. I roll my eyes. I know it must be driving Dina insane but she needs to let it go. We just can't tell her. She'll think we're fucking freaks and that might just be worse than getting caught. Dina simply scoffs at what Sid just said and walks off. 

（〃｀ 3′〃）

"Hey guys," I say as I go sit down next to Stan and Sid during the second break. "Okay Auston, let's get right to the case, Whitaker's got nothing on us, all right? Don't sweat it. Which is why I'm telling you we should go to the dance, right?" I almost choke on my apple juice.

"What?" "Okay bare with me on this one. We could do something before or something after. A movie if you want to. Or maybe we could make a fancy dinner or something or we could go for a walk. Whatever you choose is fine cause I'm down for anything. We could go to have fun, do the funky chicken, drink some punch"

I just nod at all his suggestions and occasionally hum, but I wasn't paying attention to Stanley's words at all. Somewhere in his drabble, my mind had gone someplace dark. I love Stan with all my heart, really. I just don't feel entirely completely comfortable with the fact that people are gonna see us being together.

Everybody knows what the school thinks about same-sex relationships. It's infamous for not excepting them. Or at least keep an eye out for it. Only a tiny group of students is ok with that stuff. I don't want people to be staring us down on a night that should be the best night of my teenage years. Staring down might not be the only thing there gonna be doing. We might get fucking jumped. I also know that Stanley doesn't care. So I'm gonna have to find a painful middle ground. 

"You know. We could just give it all a big, proper go." Stan's head finally looks up from his hands right at me. Just then I snap out of my train of thought. "Sorry, what?" I quickly avert my eyes from looking at nothing to him. "Um, homecoming. You, me, this weekend" He shrugs "Only if you wanna go" "Yes yes, of course, Stan. Of course, I want to go...I just thought that maybe we could, you know, keep it...lowkey. Like we don't stay all night. I just don't really feel like being that...open...if you know what I mean" whispering the last part. Stan slowly nods "All right...do you wanna hang out after prom? We could just watch a movie, maybe order some mac Donalds again?" he asks. Sometimes it's so sad how Stan is still not sure I want to hang out with him. I'm pretty sure we're boyfriends (oh my god I have a fucking boyfriend) I don't know how else to assure my undying love for him. And being scared to get outed doesn't mean I want to break up or anything.

"What is wrong?" Stan asks me noticing me drift off again. "I'm just...scared I guess" I say looking down at my hands. This is so fucking humiliating. Why can't I just be ok with who I am? It's so fucked. "Hey, it's okay. I get it, I don't want to get beaten up. I know what you mean. It's shit that we don't get to just be open about it. But if you feel comfortable with that yet, that's completely ok" Stan whispers "Stan, you are too fucking good for this world, I swear to god" I laugh leaning back and stretching from sitting hunched over before. "Oh my god. shut up" Sid says she however still has a smile on her face. "Sure dear Sydney. Wouldn't want to make my single sister upset. How long was it? 17 years now?" I ask teasingly. Sid shoves me hard to the side which turns into us trying to push each other off the benches.