Finding Sophie

Chapter 9

4 years ago

He came crashing back through the door and I knew instantly without seeing that he had been out drinking, and for a while. I am sitting in the lounge with mum, cowering on the sofa just hoping that he would walk past and go straight to bed without entering the room. I was terrified of what he could do like this, he was angry and vengeful. My mum and I always seemed to be on the receiving end of his anger which never once ended well.

It didn't take long after Sophie disappeared for him to turn to drink. I heard him say once that it numbed the pain he felt.

I could hear the heavy thudding of his footsteps as he staggered through the hall in the direction of the lounge. I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest in a prediction of what was to come. The sound gradually getting closer and closer as it came right outside the door. "I know you two are in there." He mockingly slurred through the door. I look towards my mum not knowing whether or not to reply. Without thinking I leap up from my seated position to the door where I instantly turn the lock. Letting out a breath I hadn't realised I was holding in I walked back over to my mum and expressed to her through my eyes that she should be the one to speak not me.

She shakily took a breath in and calmly starting speaking with a voice that was such a large contrast to my fathers, "Andrew, we cannot let you in here, I know that right now you think that it's the best thing for you to do but it isn't. All you will do is come in here and let out your anger on us in some way. I would like to think that you would regret what you would do and say when you later sobered up but it doesn't seem like you're sobering up anytime soon. Someone needs to be here to keep this family together or there will be nothing left of us. I love you but I cannot let you in here as you aren't my husband anymore, you have changed and I wish you would see sense and listen to me about this. If you don't pull yourself together soon and at least make an attempt to become sober you are going to have to leave or you will pull not only yourself but for me and Natalie down this black hole you have opened." I just stand staring vacantly at the door waiting for my dad to reply to her.

"You can't make me leave or stay out. I own this house and you wouldn't have it without me." He screams back at her. "Don't make yourself seem like the good guy here, you are just as bad as me." A loud bang fills the room followed by another one, equally as loud and I instantly know he is going to break the door down unless we open it letting him in here. I can't seem to get myself to move though, my limbs wouldn't cooperate. I almost had to physically pick up each of my legs to work my way towards the door. The banging continues in a sort of rhythm, getting louder and faster with each hit.

"Natalie, what are you doing." My mum whispered, fear thickly lacing her voice. "You can't go out there."

Ignoring her comment I start dragging my legs over to the door. Apprehensively. I lift my hand up towards the lock on the door looking back at my mum one last time. Her eyes were red and puffy and I could see the pain in her eyes. My heart is pounding out of my chest and I feel like I could collapse any minute. Unsteadily, I start saying, "Dad I'm going to open the door now so please stop banging on it so I can open it." The click of the opening lock may be one of the worst sounds I've ever heard.

The crash of the door as it opened and almost burst of its hinges startled me causing me to jump back to stop myself from being hit as it swung around. The step back causing me to trip over something on the floor resulting in me falling backwards, luckily I was quick enough to break my fall with my wrist or I may have knocked myself out. The searing pain that followed was crippling. I screamed, cradling my now mangled wrist close to me. The pain kept building and building, it was excruciating but I still heard my mum screaming at my dad to either help or leave. I was hoping deep down that he would stay to help but no of course he didn't as I heard his receding footsteps across the hall. The pain almost multiplied to a point where I thought I couldn't deal with any more pain. My own father just left me when he was the cause of this, I don't know which hurt more. My dad ripping out my last bit of hope for a normal family or my wrist. I vaguely felt my mum lifting me up and hurrying out the door towards what I suspect is the car. I didn't know or care anymore, whatever she did couldn't fix the emotional scars that had been carved into me. I tried to fight and get her off me as I wanted to stay here, in my own home, if I could even call it that anymore.

1 week later

I am just about getting used to the constant pain through my arm, although the cast is proving to be a challenge to work around. We hadn't seen my dad since that night and I still secretly hoped he would come through the door sobered up and ready to start building our family back up again. But realistically this was never going to happen, if he cared he would have stayed and he didn't. I need to keep telling myself that, he didn't stay.

I could hear my mum in the other room, she sounded distressed so I thought I should probably go to her. This last week has been pretty hard on both of us. As soon as I stepped into the room I could tell something was up. A combination of my mum's hushed voice and shaky breathing were the giveaway factors. I walk towards her and rest my hand on her shoulder startling her slightly. "Mum, you have to tell me what has happened. Why do you sound so distressed." I asked.

"It's the police honey, your father was killed in a road accident. They said he wasn't even drunk he was just unlucky. He was coming back to us Natalie but now he's gone as well as Sophie. I'm so sorry." The news hit me like a dagger, I couldn't believe that after all this he was sober, then he was killed. But he was going to come back to us, I was right to hope. But now those hopes have been crushed along with any other feelings I had.