Finding Sophie

Chapter 7

I wake up to a shrill sound of my alarm blaring in my ears. Another day begins with dread laced through my body. My life really is just a huge mess and I have an interview with my preferred university tomorrow. After all this, I haven't even started planning what I might talk about or replies to any questions which might come up. I really need to start planning something, otherwise, my options might be quite largely limited. I know my best option will be to ask my mum to go through all this with me, even if that's the last thing I want as there are bound to be a bombard of questions.

I decide to suck it up as this is what I want with my life, or at least I think it is. I have to do something in my future life. I mentally prepare myself for the conversation that might be coming up as soon as I walk downstairs.

"Mum, I need your help with something. Can we go through interview techniques and also what I should be talking about when replying to questions or asking questions." I say.

"Well, I will always be happy to help you so don't you worry. There is quite a lot to get through though so we might be doing this for a while." She replies, surely hinting towards mine and Wills' conversation from yesterday.

After a gruelling few hours sitting at the table with my mum going over every single thing, I may need to know for my interview tomorrow. I am pretty surprised that my mum didn't decide to question me about anything as I really wasn't in the mindset to even think about that. Now I do think about it what would I have said to her. That we had a fight about our future or the fact that I am selfish and only think about myself.

I can't stop thinking of last night and what we talked about. I just don't understand how he hasn't had anyone to talk to about this. I thought his parents and family life were okay. Maybe I was wrong, he hasn't been talking about them much lately so I really have no idea.

I decide the best thing to do was ask him about all this. But I left my car at school, I suppose I'll have to take the bus there. I really hope this day will start getting better soon otherwise it is going to be very long.

The bus is extremely crowded, even though it's a Saturday, this trip is going to be so wonderful my subconscious sarcastically remarks. As soon as I give my money I walk to the back and just to my luck, there are no seats available, partly because some annoying person thinks it's okay to hog a seat just for their bag.

The trip is agonisingly slow due to the mass amounts of traffic. I start to become very restless and am very happy when we finally arrive at the bus stop closest to school.

I get out and walk over to my car unlocking it and hop in. I instantly stick on the air conditioning as today has been pretty hot, it is the beginning of summer so I am not very surprised.

I need to make sure Will is at home before I just randomly drive over, again I haven't properly thought through everything. I really need to start to learn these things. I think the best option would probably be to just text him and ask.

I decide to say, *Hey, I know after the conversation yesterday we weren't left on the best of terms but if you're around can I come over and we talk a bit more about it.*

It takes a good hour for him to reply but when he does the answer is really short and I am certain this 'talk' will end on similar terms to yesterdays as he says. *sure*

I put on my favourite artist at the moment which is arctic monkeys and jam along to them while driving over. Today the roads are extremely busy making the trip extra-long. An accident must have occurred somewhere and everyone is either avoiding it or being diverted.

I arrive and knock on the door hoping I don't have to stop and have a conversation with either of his parents now. Luckily, I am greeted by Will who looks like he hasn't slept. "Are you okay, you look exhausted," I say sympathetically. After I get no reply I follow him into his living room which looks remotely more dirty and untidy than usual, I wonder if his parents have been too busy for cleaning. "I know this is rude but you have to tell me what is going on with you. You are acting really weird and I'm starting to worry there is something seriously wrong."

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. Well, my parents are divorcing and also we don't have enough money for the bills, so basically we are in a little bit of a pickle." He says while laughing and I can't tell if he actually finds this funny or just so crazy to believe.

"Why didn't you tell me, and how long have you been struggling?" I frantically reply knowing that my questions won't get very far. Everything is just flying under my radar at the moment and it's really starting to make me pretty anxious. I am slipping up yet again and I can't because something might happen just like last time.

"I didn't even think of telling you really I have just been trying to get my head around it myself so it's been impossible to think about anything else. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner and letting it come between us." He says back to me.

"No, you don't get to apologise for what you kept because that isn't right, you know that if anyone should be apologising about anything it would be me not you. I was the one that wasn't there for you when you needed me. I was the one who didn't realise you were struggling because I was the one who was so stuck up and only focusing on my future and what I want to do with my life. There wasn't one time that I stopped to think about you." I hastily answer, fighting hard to stop the tears that are threatening to run out of me.

"Well maybe we can start talking about it now, I know it's not the same but we don't need to worry about the fact that I have no university applications maybe I can take a gap year and maybe even travel the world, I have always wanted to do that. Just please don't be too hard on yourself because this is partly my fault as well."

I step over towards him and give him a hug, I am just really glad that this thing isn't going to be coming between us anymore, I don't think I could ever deal with the loss of someone this close to me again. "I'm really sorry, for everything. I don't want to lose you like I have almost everyone else." I whisper quaveringly, my eyes letting me down as the tears flow freely making his shoulder wet.

"You aren't going to lose me and your sister and dad weren't your faults so stop blaming yourself for it." He replies reassuringly, pulling away slightly after realising how long we have seemed to be embracing. "How about we agree never to keep anything from each other again, no matter how painful or awful it is." Will proposes. All I can do is a nod in approval as I cannot talk.