Games to the Mind ✔

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I tell my mother that I love her through 

The same gritted teeth that I whispered 

"I hope you leave" through. 

(It sounds quite the same).

I feel like the pieces of my skin are 

Ripping off, one by one, and I swear 

I cannot wait seven years for 

My body to forget that you once touched it. 

I wish there was a faster way to 

Sever your physical memory that is sketched 

Bone-deep, but seven years is the 

Price I pay for letting you too far in.

You could excordinate from my 

Goose-bumped chest and hold it, beating, 

In your shaking hands and I know you'd 

Swear on your great-grandfather's grave that 

You loved every inch of me. 

But you only loved the chest you destroyed 

And a heart can only be an anchor 

To those who lost themselves between 

A false-lover's sheets.

The one who watched me tremble as 

Words spilt from my mouth is the 

One who made me choke them back down. 

I picked up my death wish and I

Placed it in my pocket, hoping to God 

You'd someday forget the look in my eyes 

When I told you I'd never make it 

Through the past year. But you were 

The one who begged me to try and 

You were the one who begged me to die. 

I swear to God I remember you saying 

That I kept you up at night, but now 

I'd be lucky if I could fall asleep.

I wonder now what has kept me here;

So desperately victim to the sound of your voice.

I hope to pack bags full of anything but your 

Memory, but everything just seems to admonish 

And I can't forget the way your hair 

Reminds me of the hot sand that 

Listened more intently to every displeasure 

You ever caused. I must leave that place behind, 

And yet it calls me towards it everytime

I want to scream. I still imagine the 

Look on your face, I still imagine the way 

Your voice quivered as you said

"Please, just don't hurt yourself.

Please, just promise me." 

And I remember the way you begged 

Me to go against my every promise. So 

Now I am packing bags; 

I will not be the fool that chose to stay here.