Drown For Me//Colson Baker

three!

The sun woke me up, and then I felt the ache of my body, which woke me up even more. My legs felt like I had just run a marathon, and I had minor cramps in my stomach. I groaned, my eyes still closed, and put the covers over my head. I lay there for a few more minutes, allowing myself to wake up. I felt groggy and heavy from the migraine I was developing. 

But then I realized I was naked, the memories of last night flooding my mind, pushing the migraine to the side. I sat up to be introduced to a room I didn't recognize in the daylight and cradled the cover to my chest. Oh my god, I thought to myself, where's my phone? I darted out of bed, ignoring any signals my body gave me to calm down and relax. I ran around trying to find my clothes, seeing them still gross from the alcohol that was spilled on them and my phone lying next to them. To my surprise, I immediately grabbed it and saw no texts or missed calls from Pete.

Then, my appearance caught my eye in the mirror, and he had made his mark on me... many times. There were hickeys all over my neck and chest, even trailing down to my thighs. My thighs and hips had light bruises from how tight his grip was on them. Why did I do that? Why did I let it happen? I asked myself, imagining how the conversation would go when Pete saw them. I could feel the anxiety start to eat me alive. I exhaled before biting my lip and looking at all the evidence again. I had to tell him there was no way I could hide it. There was no way I would be able to keep this a secret. 

I chew on my lip as I hurried up and put on the clothes Colson let me use; if I was going to have to deal with telling my boyfriend I cheated on him, at least I could be comfortable and not in an insanely disgusting dress. When I reached the stairs, I felt anxiety brew in my stomach til I felt sick and prayed that I would find him first before he had the chance to find me. 

I found him passed out on the living room couch. Even when sleeping, he held a cup of liquor, but the cup was turned on its side, making it all spill out. The guy on the floor under the cup was drenched in whatever had been in it. Relief washed over me. I knew there was no way he'd wake up anytime soon. I had some time before the conversation had to happen, which I knew would be a vast blow-up fight. I stared at him for a while, thinking and still panicking over how I had not just ruined a relationship, I ruined a friendship as well. I'm going to hell. 

I left the living room and headed for the kitchen, hoping to find something to drink: water. My head felt like it was going to explode, my stomach hurt from the amount of anxiety I was having, and I needed to chill out and close my eyes. But when I entered the kitchen, I saw him. He was sitting on a barstool on the island, looking at his phone while resting his head on a water bottle. He didn't notice me, but the sight of him made me feel so complicated. I didn't want to speak to him, but at the same time, I was dying for him to look at me. I didn't want to be around him, but I wanted him to hold me again. 

I breathed in a massive breath before I walked to the enormous refrigerator and opened it, searching for anything. I found a bunch of water bottles, a jug of milk, orange juice, fruit punch, and sodas. I instantly grabbed a water bottle and started drinking it, hoping it would help my head stop hurting. I heard the crackle of plastic and jumped. Turning around, I saw Colson had turned his head to look at me, now holding his bottle. 

"Good morning," he greeted, looking at me as if he had no idea what to say. Did you sleep well?" I raised my eyebrows, nodded, shrugged, and shook my head like an idiot. He raised his eyebrow again, "So... no?"

"No." I had no clue how to interact with him at this point. Had I slept well? Of course I did his bed feels amazing. Did I feel good? No, I absolutely did not. Why? Because I fucked my boyfriend's best friend. I was at a loss for words, and I knew my face showed all my emotion. I knew he was picking up on it.