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'𝐀𝐌 𝐈 𝐀 𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇?'
I think to myself trying to understand if I stepped over a new boundary I shouldn't have, or at least just not yet. I want good relationships, I want people to like me for me, I do care but my instincts don't. Well, change doesn't happen in a day.
I finished unpacking long ago and my room to say the least is comforting. Well to me, I got a few of my favourite anime posters on the walls, Death Note, Black Butler, and K project, a dark theme mostly. I used temporary wallpaper, and now my walls are black. Some would say it's a bit much but as Tokoyami said to me 'revelry in the dark', we'll get along well I can tell.
My bed has a deep mahogany silk duvet and sheets, with black silk pillows. I like comfort and silk to say the least. I had a modern black desk with my laptop resting on it and a speaker. A few pictures are pinned to the wall in front of my desk, some of my family, one of Camie and I, and one I'm a little embarrassed about but it's a small photo of Hawks.
Hawks and I have a weird relationship, I interned with him out of his request, which made me question his motives but I went anyway. I spent two weeks there with him, he trained me everyday, we went on patrol every night, and we grew extremely close. The press were kind of fun to mess with since they thought we were in a relationship when really it's more of a mentor and student bond/friendship. I learned a lot from him, even though he's very childish at times, we're quite similar in a way that pains me.
Anyone would love to have a lot in common with the number 2 hero but, you really wouldn't. I love him, but I'm not in love with him. I'm also not an adult which worries me sometimes, like we are just good friends but the media doesn't believe that. Luckily they don't know who I am and claim it's some 'mystery girl'.
The only reason I'm embarrassed is because I have to say per his request that I'm just a 'fangirl', I think it was more of him trying to annoy me than to keep our friendship secret. I respect it knowing a lot about him, he visited me often in Shiketsu and now that I'm where he's usually stationed I hope he visits more.
