The ocean is just getting wider
I'm drowning still to this day
I was drowning when I was seven and now I'm seventeen
Life sucks
I wish I could scream but I also wish not to
I was taught that quiet was better
If you're quiet you're good
And we're good
We're good
If we're quiet dad will be proud of us and he's never proud
If we're quiet Dennis will be happy and we can't break someone's heart
Even if it's destroying us.
Dad yelled at us. He hit us. Heck! He probably hit mom too! I wouldn't put it past him!
A lot of things are coming to the light. We have been psychically abused before and not just from one of our closest best friends. Our dad he was full of anger. I can't remember any memory where he wasn't yelling and breaking shit. How did I not see?? My body was trying to tell me this whole time.. and my mom.. she never hit me. I think.. But my body thinks differently.. she was an alcoholic and she gaslit us she's a manipulator we were never safe it's why we don't feel safe WE WER ENEVER SAFE NOWHERE FEELS SAFE WE CANT TRUST ANYONE. Everyone could be bad.. it just runs in the family to be crazy heh.. hehehahahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAA......... that felt nice. I'm losing my mind. I'm losing my "marbles" some might say heh...
Maybe I should take a break a little while. If anyone reads this, don't worry. It's allllll a joke. :)
