Poison [[Eren x Reader]]

Chapter 4

"Don't feel embarrassed, you had no idea."

Jean places his hand on top of mine, which is on the table in between us, to calm me down. My tears are still warm against my cheeks as the breeze blows against my face. I've been sitting on this cold park table-bench for a half hour explaining, more like crying about the information that Armin gave me a few days ago with Jean sitting on the other side and facing me. The sun's beaming down on us and the table umbrella is barely large enough to provide enough shade. After Armin and Mikasa left that day, I was still in a fragile state and didn't want to be left alone, so I texted Jean asking him to hang out. He offered for me to come hang out with him at the park.

"I know, I know," I sigh from exhaustion, tired from the mental strain Eren puts on me. Or the mental strain I put on myself, actually. "Thank you for letting me talk." I wipe away my nearly dried up tears with the back of my hand and smile.

He grins in return, "It's no problem. Thanks for trusting me." I can barely feel the soft sensation of his thumb rubbing gentle circles against the top of my hand before my eyes shift to his.

My mind started to drift and I thought about the incident from the party. I couldn't tell if it really happened, or if it was just another one of Sasha's shitty jokes, but neither Jean nor I dared to bring up the "obvious boner" that was in his pants. I can tell he definitely didn't forget, but I'll save both of us from the embarrassment. Jean mentioned that he isn't mad at me about having sex in his parents bedroom either, but he expressed some resentment towards Eren. He'll get over it, but I wonder why he's not mad at me. Whatever, he really is a good friend, though, for letting me talk about this with him since not many know that Eren is in some mysterious relationship, and I only plan letting Jean in on this secret.

My gaze averts from his eyes to his lips as I watch his tongue drag across his bottom lip with the intent to wet them. My mind plays this fantasy out a little longer, and for a quick second I wonder what they felt like, wondering if he might've been wetting them just for me.

Jesus. What am I thinking?

Before I get to say anything, I hear my name being yelled from across the park followed by, "Jean!"

I forgot that Connie's invited too.

Jean and I turn our heads in the direction of the voice, both jerking our hands away from each other. In an instant, I cross my arms to rest against myself, and feel a wave of embarrassment flush over me as if I got caught doing something I shouldn't be doing. We weren't even doing anything so there's no reason to be this nervous.

What's wrong with me?

Connie makes his way towards the table while dribbling a basketball against the sidewalk before catching it and sitting down on the seat next to Jean. He places the ball on the floor between his feet and high fives Jean before sliding his hand out and fistbumping him.

"Oh God. Get a room," Connie winks at us.

My eyes widen and I look at Jean, whose cheeks had turned a light pink. I immediately looked down, hyperfocusing on a small leaf resting by my foot, trying to distract myself from the embarrassment. Jean surprisingly keeps his composure well enough and laughs at the lame joke. Wait, why's he blushing? No, no, he was probably just caught off guard. It's not like I see Jean in that way anyway.

Then why can I feel my own cheeks becoming hot?

"We were just talking about the party I threw," I glance up and notice the pink in Jean's face dissipate. Probably just trying to change the subject, hoping to distract himself from the idea of us being alone together in a room, but I have nothing to help stop my own unexplainable butterflies.