Him and I

chapter 9

sirius eventually lets go of remus's hand once they reach the car park. sirius was holding his head in his hands taking deepbreaths to calm himself down as remus stared at the back of sirius's head in shock.

"what the fuck was that-" remus mumbles, a worried tone "are you okay??"

sirius turns around still taking deepbreaths "i'm sorry- i just-"

remus looks at him dead in the eye and sirius looks back. there was a silence but not an awkward kind.

"i just- he was touching you remus, that wasn't okay- i saw how uncomfortable, how frightened you looked and i couldn't stand it-"

"sirius-" remus starts but gets cut off.

"he can't do that- who the fuck does he think he is?"

"sirius..."

"no one can do that! i hated seeing that expression on your face, i hated seeing his hands on you- i hated seeing someone else near you-"

before sirius could continue, remus had already walked over and pulled sirius down by his collar to his level, pressing his lips against sirius'. it took a few seconds for sirius to realise what was happening but he soon intertwined his lips back to remus' in a heated kiss.

fireworks.

that's all he had felt in that moment. remus felt the world stop as if it was only him and sirius. sirius felt the same. sparks were going off all around. and this. this kiss. it felt right.
even if they hadn't known eachother long, it didn't matter. after all. love is love. what they felt was real.

even though remus was still on the tipsy side, he knew what he wanted. this was what he wanted. besides they do say drunken actions are sober thoughts.

catching their breaths, they pull back. sirius looks down into remus' eyes, a wide smirk wiped across his face, as for remus? his face was bright pink.

"you're blushing wolfboy" he says with a chuckle and remus playfully hits his arm.

"oh- s-shuddup" he mumbles as sirius takes his hand again.

peter was left with james and lily, and since he was practically sober and could get them home okay. of course remus texted him first to ask. sirius, despite being sober thought it was best to walk home to be safer.

they soon arrive and remus stumbles tiredly into the empty house, soon followed by sirius who shuts the door behind them. remus yawns and kicks off his shoes, rubbing his eyes like a newborn baby. sirius glances over with a slight chuckle and takes his hand walking him upstairs.

"cmon love you should go get dressed" sirius says quietly and remus shakes his head slowly.

"i cant- too tired" he manages to get out over quiet mumbles.

sirius looks at remus' outfit. it wouldn't be comfortable to sleep in what he was wearing.

"that's not going to be comfortable" sirius whispers to him as he opens remus' bedroom door.

he sees remus nod slightly and watches him from the doorway, stumble over to his bed. he pulls out a hoodie and some shorts from his bedside table and then looks to the doorway as sirius goes to shut the door.

"sirius..." he whispers but still loud enough sirius could hear.

remus wasn't in the mood to be thinking about anything. he was tired and not to mention tipsy still.

sirius opens the door and tilts his head "yes love?" he asks.

remus plays with his fingers. sober remus would probably regret what he was going to ask next.

"h-help?" he asks still whispering as he looked at his hands.

TW- scars

sirius walks over to where remus was sitting. he lifts remus' head to look up at him and gives him a smile before lifting off his jumper. remus held his arms up sloppily so that he could. he then helps unbutton remus' shirt but stops as he sees light scars across his chest. he looks at them, his smile falling from his face.

remus yawns and mumbles "w-what?"

but sirius looks back up and gives him a reassuring smile before continuing to unbutton his shirt. truth be told it hurt to see scars on remus. even if it wasn't as bad as he thought, he still felt hurt seeing them on him.

don't overthink sirius.

but what if someone hurt him?

it could just be a misunderstanding, maybe he's just accident prone.

but there's so many...

then his eyes trail to remus' arms, scanning the scars there. he swallows hard and pulls remus' shirt off of his arms, now having a full view of his torso and arms. scars covered him from his chest to his stomach and his shoulders to his wrists. despite these scars though, sirius didn't feel any less attracted to remus. if anything what remus may think of as flaws, made sirius even more attracted to him. it only hurt to see so many.

he looks up to meet remus' eyes who was watching sirius. he looked like he had just seen a ghost, almost as if he'd realised what he'd done by letting sirius help.

"i- i can do the rest on my own" remus whispers quickly pulling on a hoodie, making sure he was fully covered.

"remus..."

"it's okay sirius, i can do the rest myself!" he says with an unconvincing smile as he reaches over for his shorts.

"what... what happened?" sirius' voice came concerned as remus looked over to him.

remus gulps and then puts on a smile, standing on his tiptoes and kissing sirius' cheek.

"go get some sleep" he mumbles.

sirius' eyes were stuck to remus, who was urging him out.

"please..." remus whispers, causing sirius to snap back to reality.

sirius nods slightly and edges back towards the door before shutting it as he left the room.

remus holds his head in his hands, sinking to the floor.

stupid! stupid! stupid!

how can you be so stupid remus??

he's probably scared of you now!

his thoughts overcame him as he brought his knees to his chest, breathing heavily into them.

for sirius however, he shut his bedroom door, looking around his room almost frustrated. yes he'd known remus for only two weeks but he felt a connection to him and not to mention protective over him.

thoughts ran through his mind.
he swore he'd hurt whoever did this to him. remus of all people didn't deserve that.

but...

who would dare do this to his moony?