Chasing Champions

Off the bike, but into a new world

Sarah POV:

After the doctor left, I sat in a complete state of total shock. I couldn't process what just got told to me, and how it would change everything. I look over at Chase who had his head in his hands, that's when I noticed he wasn't holding my hand anymore. I felt fear, fear like nothing else I had ever felt before. And logicily I knew he was just trying to process everything too but I could feel something breaking inside of me that I was desperately trying to keep together. I reach out to touch him, to bring me back to reality but he shifted away. I completely broke, I could feel myself start to silently sob my heart out as I curled myself into a ball facing away from him. I couldn't believe this was happening, everything was falling apart and I couldn't do anything to stop it. And now he couldn't even look at me, won't even let me touch him. I wrap the blanket around me as a lay a hand on my stomach as the tears continue to cascade down my face and bite my lip to keep the sounds of despair in.

After a few minutes I heard my phone start to vibrate, sitting up I turn towards it and went to stand up to get it only to get light headed and about fall over. I caught myself on the edge of the bed and picked up my phone. Unlocking it I see it's a text from Jett asking what was going on and where were we making me remember we had agreed to get a late dinner together to celebrate. I bite my lip and look towards Chase to see was already looking at me. When he saw my tear stained face and red eyes I could see him flinch as guilt filled his eyes. I look down before texting Jett everything. He responded back with him saying Hunter and him were on their way there. I sit down and couldn't help but think, everyone would be better off if I had never come to the states, if I never was born. I couldn't help but think about just not being around anymore, all I do is cause drama and add stress to everyone's life. Without meaning to my eyes roam around the room looking for something, anything sharp. My eyes fall on a pair of cast cutting scissors someone must have forgot to put away. I slowly stand up and head over to them and pick them up, unknowingly to me Chases eyes never left my form. As I hold them in my hands I flip them a few times before opening them and start to bring them to my throat, but before I could reach it arms flashed around me stopping my hands in their tracks. I slowly blink as my fog filled brain registers the feeling of a body pressed up against my back, and an arm wrapped around my waist keeping me there and the other arm taking the scissors out of my hands. The longer I felt his arms around me the more I could feel. Like his body shaking, like the feeling of his tears dripping onto my skin and the way he was holding me, my stomach in a protective way. It was then I could hear him muttering,

"Oh god Sarah, please I'm sorry. Please don't do that again. Please, I'd be lost without you, you and now our child. I'm sorry for not being there for you. I'm sorry, so so sorry. I'll be better, I promise I'll be better."

I could feel the tears start back up as his other hand joins his other around my waist. I look straight ahead as I cried, my arms joining his around my soon to be growing stomach. After a few minutes I whisper,

"I'm scared, terrified. I can barely take care of myself without fucking everything up even more than I already do. I don't know how a parent, a mom is supposed to be. What if I end up like her? I don't want to be like her. Oh god what if she finds out and comes after our child, our baby? I'm not going to be safe, the baby isn't going to be safe, you won't be safe. I, I can't go through that. I can't have you two get hurt because of me. Oh god with if I lose the baby? I'm not fully equipt to have kids anymore. I I I..."

Shaking my head, I get to choked up to say anything else. I felt both of us shaking as he slowly turns me around and holds me to his chest, tucking my head under his chin kissing it while doing so. I cling to him as if my life depended on it. Which looking at my most recent actions was the truth. As what almost happened hits me I start muttering how sorry I am. He pulled back a bit and kissed me, making me shut up. As he pulls away and rest his forehead on mine and tells me,