Chasing Champions

Joy and hell

Sarah POV:

I wake up sometime later in the middle of the night to feeling like I was floating and the beeping of what I know is hospital equipment. I force my eyes open with a groan as I blink everything into focus. I vaguely notice I still had my glasses on so Chase had to be around somewhere. I was trying to remember everything that happened but it was foggy, I roll my head to the left and see the dark sky outside the window. I rest a hand on my stomach as my eyes start to close before freezing and snapping back open.

I start breathing heavy as I slowly look down and see my baby bump was gone, and I started shaking as tears pour down my face. I kept thinking I lost my baby, oh god she was gone, and suddenly I couldn't breath. I blink and Chase was hovering over me and it takes me a minute to hear what he was saying but when I did I started crying for another reason as he says,

"Sarah calm down, everything is fine. Our baby girl is down the hall and she's ok. Just breathe sweet girl, just breathe for me."

I focus on his eyes and after a while I feel myself calm down enough that I register what he just said. I look up at him and whisper,

"Is she really ok? If she's ok I have to see her with my own eyes. Please take me to see her Chase, please."

He nods as he helps me sit up and holds me as all the blood drains from my head and I get dizzy. I lean against him for a minute before moving my legs over the edge of the bed, shakily standing up with the help of Chase. It hurt to walk but if he was letting me then it must be ok, he wouldn't let me do anything that would harm me. As we slowly shuffle down the hall I ask,

"What happened? All I remember is feeling empty and I couldn't breath and blurred people, beeping then silence."

He sighs as he kisses my temple and mumbles,

"You had a major panic attack and won't respond to me or anyone before you lost conscious. When that happened your heart rate dropped extremely low and they almost lost you. When your dad cut you he, he nicked the umbilical cord and it was causing all kinds of problems that I don't even understand. If we would have waited any longer our baby boy and girl wouldn't have a mommy anymore."

The blood drained from my face as I hear the emotion in his voice as he tried to hide it. I stop walking and turn to him and I see he was fighting back tears, so I gently pull his face closer to me and rest our foreheads together. His tears start to spill so I use my thumbs to dry them as I whisper,

"I know it had to be terrifying for you but I'm right here ok? And if I have a say in it I'm never leaving you, or our children. Your stuck with me for good ok?"

He nods as his arms come around my middle and hold me to him as he hides his face in my shoulder and cries. And I just let him cry as much as he wanted, because I couldn't imagine what he was going through. This isn't the first time he has almost lost me and I know it never get easier. After a few minutes he pulls back slightly, sniffling as he whispers,

"Thanks, I just needed to let it out I guess. But we can have us time later, you need to see our beautiful daughter first."

I beam at him making him laugh lightly before making our way to the end of the hall and into a room. He gently tugs me to get to a small incubator and I look inside and see the tiniest baby I had ever seen. She looked like a babydoll she was so small, and I could hard believe she was real. I lightly place my hand on the glass and take her in for the first time. She already had a full head of my light blonde hair and already looked so much like her father. It made me worry about all the tubes going in her but I knew that is what is making her stable for now. I look at the papers next to her and see that she was born at 12:23 am weighing at 3 pounds and 2 oz. My eyes drift back over to her and I craved to hold her to my chest and my eyes welded up in tears knowing I can't yet.