Book of Homosexuality | Book of Mormon Oneshots

Don't Call Heavenly Father THAT-

Type: Comedy/crack
Ship: McPricely
Trigger Warnings: Mentions of ab.se, m.ther, f.ther (in regards to elder church's past, breif), nsfw ment

McKinley hasn't slept for at least four days, he's  been avoiding it. He's so sick of the Hell dream, he's been trying to avoid it as of late. As one can imagine, he's rather loopy from the lack of rest he's had.

Kevin, for the millionth time, puts down an empty mug, one which once contained coffee, and immediately started praying for forgiveness.

The redhead watches from the doorway, frowning. His kinda boyfriend always feels really sad after drinking coffee, not because Kevin doesn't like it, but because Kevin feels really guilty- he wants to be a good Mormon boy and good Mormon boys don't drink coffee. He pretends that praying for forgiveness makes it better, but it really doesn't, he's bottling all his guilt the fuck up and some day, it's going to come crashing down on him like a cat jumping off of the top of the fridge.

Suddenly, Connor smiles like the Grinch (you know what I'm talking about) as a wonderful, gay idea pops into his head- one that can only be fueled by avoiding sleep and sneaking into the bathroom with his phone to use Tumblr every night. He was going to try and distract his kind of sort of boyfriend from that sadness- and he was going to do it with Heavenly Father's greatest creation: Comedy.

He wasn't a basic bitch, however, he wasn't going to crack some joke that makes sense- no, he was going to use the best form of comedy: Random, sleep-deprived, Tumblr-fueled bullshit.

Ready to throw his plan into action, he walks up to Price, who is still praying for forgiveness for drinking 1 (one) singular goddamn cup of black coffee. Gently, he places one hand on Kevin's shoulder, using the other to bring Kevin's face up to look him in the eyes. He smirks, narrowing his eyes, and speaks.

"Talkin' to Sky Daddy?~" He bites his lip, using another holy form of comedy: Fuckboyery. He's also biting his lip to stop himself from hysterical laughing over some weird bullshit he made up ten seconds ago, because that's what gay, Mormon, Tumblr kids do... I assume. I've never met one.

Kevin raises an eyebrow, unsure as to whether he should be confused or offended.

"I'm sorry, W H O?!" He's just wide-eyed, gripping Connor's waist, confused out of his 90% caffeine, 10% logic mind. Or, in other language: Kevin is confused and his brain-cells are high as balls.

"Oh, y'know," He dramatically wraps his arms around Kevin's neck, touching his forehead to the coffee addicted, Tweek Tweak kinnie, self-obsessed, in-denial, gay Mormon's. "Sky Daddy."

Price straightens his back, kind of, basically shooting up out of confusion and fear. He's desperately trying to figure out who in the actual fuck 'Sky Daddy' is, until, it hits him like Church's dad would hit his mother. He means God. He's calling the lord 'Sky Daddy.'

"D-Do you mean Heavenly Father?!"

"Yeah, Sky Daddy!" Connor gives in, bending over and clutching his chest as he laughs so hard, you'd think he just saw the 'weed smoking girlfriends' Tumblr post for the first time in his gay-ass life.

"You- You shouldn't call Heavenly Father that!" Price says, but deep down, he's laughing harder than McKinley's dick gets when thinking about... well, Kevin.

"Why not? Heaven is in the sky, right; and daddy is a synonym for father?~"

"Well, yes, but-"

"So, Heavenly Father is equal to Sky Daddy."

"NO!" Kevin facepalms, but, like, with two hands because he's quirky like that.

"Why not?" McKinley pouts.

"B-Because! That sounds... dirty."

"Kevin..."

The air is thick, heavy, their noses touching, hands on each other's hips, hot breaths on each other's faces.

"Y-Yeah?~"

"That's the fucking point."

"Oh."