tritanopia | The Mandalorian

seventeen

By the time Mando returned to the barn, the sun had set long ago, and Fae was already under an avalanche of blankets in an attempt to fall asleep. Key word being attempt. And, surprisingly, she hadn't been finding it difficult due to the fact she was laying on the floor, or the fact that she was frankly fucking freezing, the best blanket being used by the sleeping Child — it was the fact that she was acutely aware of the fact that a functioning AT-ST could arrive at any moment. So very aware to the point that she audibly gasped and flinched when Mando's boots first shook the rickety floor.

With a hand on her chest, as if she could reach in and still her racing heart manually, she sat up to say breathily, "I'm going to get you a collar with a bell, so I can know when you're coming. I'll put your name on it, too, y'know, like...like 'Whiskers' or something."

"Do I seem like a 'Whiskers' to you-" Mando suddenly stopped where he was, finally noticing where Fae's voice was coming from after seeing the bed empty, and said incredulously, "What the fuck are you doing?"

The girl didn't move from where she was, having returned to cocooning herself beneath the blankets, as if it would somehow help deflect a blaster bolt. "What does it look like I'm doing?" Fae's voice was muffled and the only reason Mando even understood her was due to the enhancements in his helmet, "Also, yes, you are a 'Whiskers' — I believe you're basic enough." 

Mando sighed, walking over to the table which had unspokenly became his weapon storage. "I assumed you'd take the bed," He replied simply as he began to remove pieces of his armour one by one. Fae knew what had happened when she suddenly heard him stop, and unknowingly tensed where she lay when Mando had instinctively reached up to the helmet atop his head. There was several tension filled seconds before he finally spoke again, saying rather hesitantly, "When you said you couldn't see in the dark...how bad is it?"

Fae chuckled shortly, "You can take the helmet off. It's bold of you to assume I even want to see your ugly face anyway."

The hiss of the gear being removed filled the pause in conversation before Mando spoke again, now without the electronic edge his voice usually held, "Sometimes I find myself thinking you're rather mature for your age, but then you hurl some petty insult at me, and everything else goes out the window."

"I could say the same about you, old man," Fae replied with a strained voice as she rolled over to lay on her other side, while Mando sat himself on the edge of the cot which she was now facing away from. She could feel his questioning stare pressing into the back of her skull, and replied to the question she knew would he would undoubtedly ask, "You've spent kriff knows how many nights sleeping in that piece of scrap you call a ship, and, despite how inhumane the Empire is, their beds are surprisingly comfortable. So, I'm taking the floor. Frankly, it's a nice break from Imp bedsheets." Fae wasn't always a confident person when it came to speaking, but she had a way of talking with such a tone which made it painfully obvious when the topic was closed. So, despite the fact he didn't agree, Mando silently laid down on his back and closed his eyes for the first time in, what felt like, days.

He ran his hand over his face, ending up in his hair, where his fingers grasped at the roots in fistfuls. In his head, Mando's train of thought returned to the recent usual — spiralling over what the fuck he had done, what he was still doing, what he would continue to do for the foreseeable future, and the fact that he didn't have a clue. About anything. The AT-ST, the Child, the Client, Fae. He felt as if he knew absolutely nothing, and held a deep fear in his heart over the fact that someone will figure that out all too soon. Like some sort of imposter syndrome. And Mando knew he'd better start working shit out as soon as possible, before someone else works it out first. So, he decided to start immediately.

"Why did the Empire want you- or, why did they have you in the first place?" He found himself asking before he could even think twice about it.

Based on the silence that ensued, broken only by the sound of Fae's soft breathing, Mando wondering for a second whether the girl was already asleep. After waiting in the dark for several more seconds, he sighed, and was about to roll over to fall asleep himself, but a quiet voice stopped him when it reached his ears.

"They thought I could help them take the galaxy back," She said, her voice so small and fragile — reminding Mando of the moment on the Crest when she asked him to keep the cot door open. "I like to tell myself that they were idiotic, delusional, for believing such a thing...but I can't bring myself to firmly deny the possibility that they would have gotten what they wanted, in the end, if I had stayed there."

Mando's eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the wooden ceiling, taken aback by her openness. He was honestly expecting no reply, or if not that then a vague one; and so took a moment to process what she had told him, making sure to tread carefully with his reply as to not scare her away.

"Why would they think that?" And as soon as the words left his mouth he knew that was the wrong way to go, Fae's prolonged silence only confirming the fact that that specific question would go unanswered, so he tried again with, "What happened to your parents?"

"What happens to everyone's parents?" Fae scoffed, "The Empire gets to us all, eventually. Whether it be physically or mentally, nobody goes unscathed. I suppose I got lucky and landed myself with a double serving...war is when the young and the stupid are tricked by the old and the bitter into killing each other, and boy did they try their hardest, gave it their all to turn me into...whatever it is that they wanted. I suppose they won, in a way, since I'm pretty fucked in the head," She finished her little ramble with a laugh. A humourless laugh, which basically confirmed her "joke" about her mental state.

"Is that why you're afraid of the Walker?" Mando asked, trying not to dwell on the young girl's words for too long. "It reminds you of them, the Empire."

She was quiet again — every question he presented her with edging her closer and closer to shutting herself back in again, every reflex in her mind begging her to just stop talking. And yet, she didn't.

"I was part of the Empire for twelve years- no, not a part of it, a prisoner of it. Anyway, twelve years...hard to live like that for so long  and not have some bad memories, I suppose," Out of the corner of Mando's eye, he saw her physically wave her hand around in the dark — a motion he noticed her doing several times, like the action could physically brush off the thought.

"Are you..." He found himself hesitating, a strange nagging feeling that the question on the edge of his tongue wouldn't end well prodded his head. For whatever reason, Mando knew it was a question he would get an answer to then and there — but he asked nonetheless, because of course he did. "Are you like the Child?"

"What? Small and green? I like to think not, no," Fae's tone made it evident that she was smiled as she spoke; a feature Mando would probably had smiled at himself if it was under different circumstances — if she wasn't evading the truth. She sighed deeply before quietly adding, "Goodnight, Mando."

There was that tone again. Not hostile, not dangerous. But the conversation was over, and he knew that indefinitely. So he finally rolled over, a small sense of satisfaction settled in his mind like a blanket over his anxieties — out of sight, out of mind. Simultaneously, however, he knew what he had learned was only the tip of the Imperial Iceberg.

"Goodnight, Fae."

{ THIS IS SO SHORT AND SO SHIT AND I APOLOGISE. school starts tomorrow so i had to write SOMETHING now, otherwise i wouldn't update for weeks. sO THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE GETTING.
i miss writing fae and mando and i have many plans for them, but my mental health is comical and i have no motivation. soooo i'm sorry.

also, the soundtrack for this book will be edited at some point soon because i feel like it doesn't represent the story very well so prepare to learn how good my music taste is 😌✋

anyway...vote, comment, thank you for reading, chapter quality will improve i promise <3 }