February Love

Chapter Nine

After Hark dropped me home, I lay on my bed, thinking about what I had done. I had let someone into my life. Someone who knows so little about me. Someone I do not trust with my secrets. But the feeling of his lips against mine was so strong that I could not help but smile on that thought. I called Sarah to tell her the details of the day.

"What is up with your face?" Sarah said bringing the phone closer to see my face.

"Nothing. Why?"

"Never mind. Where were you after school today?"

"I went out with Hark."

"Tell me everything about it."

"He took me to this special place he found months ago in the middle of the woods. It was the most beautiful place Sarah. You would not believe something like that exists in Pittsburgh."

"My boyfriend doesn't even take me to the park for dates."

"Anyway, I might have kissed him." I said hiding my face behind the pillow.

"What? You kissed him? Wait, what do you mean you might have kissed him? Did he not kiss you back?"

"Calm down! I kissed him and he kissed me back. We were in the middle of a very beautiful place and I was drawn into it."

"How good is he?"

"Definitely better than Harry." We both started laughing. "But Sarah, you know I don't have time for a relationship. I have work every day and at night have college stuff to do. I cannot give him time like I am supposed to."

"That reminds me, have you told him everything yet?"

"That is another reason why I don't want this to change directions. I don't want him to look at me with pity in his eyes like most of the people did when they got to know. And after what happened last time with Harry, I don't want history to repeat itself."

"First, what happened with Harry was not your fault. And second, you cannot hide it forever. If he is falling for you, he must be falling for a completely different version of you."

"I don't know Sarah. I am not very sure about it. He is already getting over the loss of his brother. I don't want him to know anything more. I will wait for the right time."

"Just make sure you are not too late."

"Yeah. Please try not to tell Sam about what happened today."

"What's that about me?" Sam said emerging from behind the phone.

"Oh, come on" I said keeping the phone down.

I opened my laptop and stared at the topic for my college essay. It read, 'HOW FAR HAVE YOU COME FROM YOUR PAST AND WHAT DID YOU LEAVE BEHIND?' I have stared at this question since last one month and I am still not very sure if I have left behind my past. I have begun to write the essay many times but never gone past a sentence. Even today, it didn't feel like the right time.

"Coming down for dinner?" Aunt Julie said knocking on my door.

"Yeah I just need to clean up."

"Sure. Is it the college essay?" she said looking on my laptop screen.

I nodded.

"Still no luck?"

"I am just not sure of how much of the past is still holding on to me and how much I have let go."

"You will figure it out soon."

"Yeah." I looked at her with a smile.

"I will wait for you downstairs."

The next day at school, I only hoped for nothing to have changed between Hark and me. And it had not. He still looked at me the same way he did before last evening. His smile was still the same.

"What do you say we all eat at Curby's tonight?" Sam said wrapping his hand around my shoulder.

"You know how much I love eating with you. I would love nothing more." I said looking at him with fake puppy eyes. We all shared a laugh about it.

"I will see you guys at 7:00 then. Got to go. Bye." Sam gave a kiss to Sarah and walked towards his class.