𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒚

Eighteen

𝙳𝚛. 𝙰𝚍𝚊𝚖 𝚅𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚒'𝚜 𝙾𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚎

𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝙰𝚍𝚞𝚕𝚝𝚜, 𝚀𝚞𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚘, 𝚅𝙰

𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑 𝟷𝟷, 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟸

𝟻:𝟻𝟺 𝙿.𝙼.

"When did you start getting these dreams, Tillie?" Dr. Vidaurri asked the young woman in his office. Dark bags shaded underneath her eyes, her hair was messily pulled up into a bun, out of her face. Recently, her restless sleep had been filled with unsettling dreams. Dreams of her parents, of her childhood. 

"Started? They started when I was in rehab," She tried to think back to her first dream. When she got her first dream, it was surprising to her, she wasn't one to get dreams and remember them. 

"Why haven't you mentioned it before? If it's been going on for so long," He inquired. His brow was furrowed as he tried to understand her motive. 

"Well, they were just so irregular, I guess I didn't think anything of it. But they've been getting more and more frequent, so I guess I just thought that maybe I should bring it up this time," She rambled, closing her eyes for a moment. 

"These dreams may be your subconscious trying to provide some sort of closure that you've been avoiding. Since you've been sober for a couple of weeks now, and you're so used to using alcohol as a coping mechanism, this sobriety might be bringing up old memories," Tillie thought about his insightful words. It made sense, but how true was it? Figuring that since Adam had said it, it was probably accurate. 

"So, what does that mean? Like what do I do?" Confusion was etched into her face, as she racked her brain for solutions. 

"Well, there's a couple things. You could talk to someone, besides myself, about it. or we could find you ways to release your anger in a healthy way," He suggested. Her brow raised, a gesture for him to elaborate. "There's exercise, it can release hormones to help you feel better, that and it can help you regulate your breathing. This can help you stay calm. We've tried journaling before, but maybe we could try again. There's always the writing your anger on an object and destroying it." 

While the two sat and talked while the clock ticked, the hands passing each dot with every minute. Eventually, their time was up, and Vidaurri walked Tillie to the door. 

"Just think about what we talked about, we'll take baby steps. Just journal, maybe open up to Dr. Reid." He stood in the doorway, watching her walk to her car. 

"Have a great rest of the week, Dr. A." She called over her shoulder, getting into the driver's seat of her car. 

The whole ride home, she contemplated her therapists words.

She thought about herself, and her parents. She thought about her resentment. How it had been brewing inside her for so long, she didn't even realize it was there anymore. 

Before she knew it she was home. The sun was still illuminating the sky, placing an orange glaze over the world. Tillie got out of her car, and went inside her house, changing into more comfortable clothes. 

With the coming of spring, she was able sit on the porch and drink a cup of tea without freezing to death. And tonight would be her first night of the season. 

Watering all her plants, temporarily forgetting everything the day had brought, getting lost in her mind. For the first time in a while a sense of contentedness warmed her spirit. She felt soothed, and maybe her down was getting itself sorted out. 

For the first time in her life, however, she finally felt like she had the one thing she had always needed, stability.