'for as long as i live' remus lupin x reader

chapter 10

R.J Lupin-
The night was utterly wonderful, We both had such a great time, even if it was just doing the simplest things. I feel as though Y/N is the only person I've ever felt a connection with since Sirius' death. She's just so grateful for anything the same way he was. The way she looked around my apartment made me think it was the nicest place she ever stayed- and my place is a pigsty! Merlin knows what her living space was like in London.
I know her and Sirius would of been good friends, They would of wrecked havoc among Hogwarts that's for sure!

I really did want her to stay the night- not in a vulgar or suggestive way no no no... I just wanted her to get a good nights sleep in a place I knew she was comfortable in, and I was right.
As soon as she put her head on the sofa she was out like a light. I spent the whole night awake watching the map to see if her footsteps went walking like they do every night- but no, they didn't.

At around 4am I went out my bedroom to check on her, and she was sound asleep, murmuring a few words every now and then. It crushed my soul a little to hear what she was saying though.
'Mum no... don't go...'
'Please... please stop...'
'It's cold out, don't make me go...'
'What did you do what did you-'

It felt a little invasive to be listening and I just desperately wanted her to have a peaceful sleep, so I just leaned over and stroked her head- to try and soothe her a little.
Her sleep-talking died down after that so I felt okay to leave her, but I don't feel okay leaving her to sleep in that dorm anymore, she's 18! I've never understood why the 7th years don't get their own bedrooms, they aren't children anymore- they deserve privacy.
Well some of them still act like bloody children, but not Y/N, she's wise beyond her years- even if some of the stunts she's pulled may be deemed 'immature'.

She could grow up to be a very powerful witch indeed, but she's still not comfortable in her abilities- I may ask her if she would like some lessons tomorrow. Nothing extreme of course, it would be very informal, but those wandless magic abilities could be something to be reckoned with. And I don't want her to get... led astray....

'Good Morning!' Remus' cheerful voice wakes me up, 'Come on Y/N, I've got something planned for today!'
I check the time on the wall- it's 8am?!
'A few more minutes... or hours even...' I groggily say.
'Nope, come on, get dressed- I ironed the clothes from yesterday, they should be next to you on the floor.'
I pick them up and stumble into the bathroom, I'm not a morning person whatsoever. Ugh.
I finally look at myself in the full length mirror whilst getting changed, I've just realised this is the first time in years that I haven't got any fresh wounds. It gives me a feeling of both disgust but also pride. I just keep on telling myself that Remus would be so happy if he knew.

I drag a brush through my hair and wash my face, while putting on Remus' spare clothes I take in the smell of them, the scent of him.
Oh god what am I doing? Jesus christ I need to pull myself together, It's not like that. I don't feel like that about anyone, let alone the slightly strange DATDA teacher that I've befriended.
I laugh to myself as I realise that my first friend in years is a 30 year old man.

As I walk out the bathroom, slightly flustered from what I was just thinking about, Remus' greets me with a bowl of oats.
'I don't really eat until at least 1pm, thanks though...' I falter.
'As I said before, I have stuff planned for you to do today, your going to need something in your system for once!' Remus rolls his eyes jokingly, 'Don't worry, you can have your beloved smoke before we leave. But first- breakfast!'

We stand around the kitchen, the oats are good I must admit, he had little bowls of various fruits and seeds for me to put on them, along with maple syrup and everything. He's a very extra kind of guy, especially when it comes to food.
'Nice sleep?' Remus asks, 'I hope it wasn't too uncomfortable.'
'It was lovely sir- I mean Remus, it was great.'
We both look down into our bowls silently, my morning grogginess paired with his awkwardness made conversation very difficult.