'for as long as i live' remus lupin x reader

chapter 14

authors note- hi!!! it's been nearly a month since i last uploaded and i'm so sorry :( i'm going thru a bit of a rough time right now but i'm trying my best to get chapters out i promise <3
hope u are all doing okay!

'Well...' Snape hissed 'The werewolf and the whore 8th year... what a lovely couple.'
Remus jumped up defensively, keeping me shielded from Snapes judgemental gaze.
'No need for the knight in shining armour act Remus, stop the dramatics.' he smirks.

'Don't you dare call her a whore Severus, that's completely out of line and you know it.'
'No 0f course Lupin your right... she's no whore, but a psycho with no mummy to run home to.'
Snapes voice begins to rise with excitement. It's not every day he has an excuse to rip into the student who he had despised for so long. It's just me him and Remus, no other people around to stop his vicious words.
'Hogwarts is no place for you Miss L/N, perhaps St Mungos is better for the likes of you?'

'Leave her out of it. That's enough! She's not the one you should be spouting your vile insults at' Remus snapped. 'Let's be adults and settle this here and now.'
'Adults... Ha! Adults. She's hardly one herself!' He sneered. 'I could go to Dumbledore about this matter here and now, neither of you would step foot in Hogwarts again.'
'Severus there's many things I could tell Dumbledore about. you and I both...'
I reach over tentatively to my wand as Snape and Remus start to bicker amongst themselves, clutching it in my hand as I try to block out the argument happening in front of me.

'Stand up here Y/N and let me show Remus your true, shameful self.' Snape lunges to me and grabs my arm roughly, hauling me up as I drop my wand on the floor. Well, that plan has gone to utter shit.
'You think throwing useless incantations was going to fix this Miss L/N? You were sorely mistaken.'
Before I can even stop him he grabs my sleeves and pulls them up, revealing to Remus the one secret I never wanted him to know. There it was, for the whole world to see.

• • • • • •

Remus already knew about Y/N cutting herself, he had figured it out a while ago but just kept convincing himself it was nothing.

But he would deal with that later, right now he had never felt such a need to protect someone- how dare Severus embarrass the girl like this! It's childish and ignorant and everything that he hated about Snape.

Remus' anger boiled over, he had to finally let Severus know what he thought about him all these years. The two had always been uncomfortably civil, but this was it. This just showed Lupin that Snape will always be a parasite upon this school and his life.

• • • • • • •

'You utter pathetic excuse of a man! You join the Dark Lord because you can't deal with a bit of teenage heartbreak, you ridicule your students, you walk around with that sullen face like the whole world is against you, and you humiliate the most talented witch in this school by using her demons as a weapon against me! Don't even think of going to Dumbledore because Y/N won't be setting foot in this school again after tonight. She won't have to deal with this any longer, she's already suffered enough.'

For once in his sorrowful life Snape was speechless. Saying nothing, he gave one last glaring look to us both and swooped out of the room, banging the door behind him on the way out.

I fall back onto the sofa and don't move a muscle. I feel so utterly numb again, just like how I did all those weeks ago. Remus knows. I mean, I knew he had an inkling, but he knows now.

That was my secret to have, it was the only thing I had to myself, the only ounce of control I had over my life. And now it's gone, there's no way Remus will let me do it ever again. 

'Darling..'
I didn't notice that Remus had crouched down to face me. His hand once again reaching to do that comforting caress of my cheek, something I would of never let him do a few months ago but now feels so familiar.
The tears spill from my eyes but I don't make a sound, my face still expressionless.

put your emotions away for once
you have packing to attend to don't you?

'Come on Remu.. I need to get my stuff packed. Leave me be while I get my bag.'
'Of course..' Lupin stands up and rubs his joints in pain. The full moon is tomorrow, I've not a clue how he's going to cope.

There's not much to pack. I just grab the clothes and toiletries that I had taken from my dorm a couple of nights ago and my jewellery. I ransack the bathroom cabinet to grab the last few packs of cigs and the ashtray on the side, stuffing them all into an old slouch bag I had bought from London many years ago.

I don't want to leave Hogwarts to be honest. And I especially don't want to leave Remus. But I know what has to be done, and I know how to survive by myself.

'This is it then I guess.' I wave my bag in the air to Remus. 'I'll catch a ride to the train station tonight, I'm thinking somewhere up north.. maybe even Scotla-'
Remus grabs my bag from my arm and pulls me into a tight hug. 'You think I'm leaving you to fend for yourself? I'm coming with you silly! We're heading off to Yorkshire.'
'I- Theres- Theres no need honestly Lupin. I've caused you enough trouble, it's better if I'm out your life.' The tears are starting to come again, a lump forming in my throat.

'You've turned my bloody life upside down Y/N, but I love you too much to leave you by yourself. Before you my life was incredibly repetitive, I think I'd get rather bored without you to be honest.' Remus jokes, but I can hear the tears coming through in his voice.
'Snape wouldn't let either of us stay even if I wanted to.. It's not safe for us here anymore.'

So with the flick of his wand, Remus packs every bit of his belongings into one suitcase.
The pictures, the candles- even the chairs fold up tiny enough to fit.
The apartment looks incredibly bare without his eccentric furnishings, but I know he'll make wherever we go next just as homely as this place.

'I've informed Minerva and Dumbledore we are both leaving, there's a few things to work out but they both send their best. McGonagall said you were always an exceptional witch, she wishes you could of shown her more of your magic.'

'Let's just go Remus, I'm ready to leave.'
He kisses me on the forehead as we make our way out of the castle in the pitch black. I should feel happy we are leaving right now, but I'm more scared than anything else.
I shake away my worries as I get on the back of Lupins broomstick and see the lights of the castle start to dim as we get further and further away.