Scarred

Part 5: Link with me

Mate... That's the first thing he said to me. 'Heya mate'.

He looked like a slightly younger version of the man I saw in my vision. Black messy hair that covered his ears. His stormy grey eyes looked at me with wonder and adoration. His full lips formed a smile that made him look so damn sexy. High cheek bones, a five o' clock shadow on his chin.

He was a very handsome and attractive person, from where I stood I could see he had a healthy amount of muscle mass for a shifter. He wasn't buffed up but he looked rather lean. Even though his lean form I could tell he's a very powerfull shifter.

Yet somthing was wrong. Wasn't I supposed to be like, jumping his bones or somthing? Or at least hug him or kiss him or whatever. I see him as a very handsome and attractive person but that's mostly it. Is somthing wrong with me? Am I broken or somthing? This is the person I am supposed to love right? Ofcoures I have an attraction toward him I mean any sane female would.

I snapped out of my daze when he leaned a bit forward trying to catch my gaze. He frowned at my confused look. He came closer toward me but I moved backwards in my confusion. I frowned and he looked at me with a sad and almost afraid expression. After what felt as hours he finally got a grip of himself and started talking.

“I'm Lucas, you're Yemaya right? I'm your mate.” His voice sounded confused as if he was in disbelieve of my behavior. He raised a hand and reached out for me. I wanted to back up but I hit the kitchen counter.

“It's Maya.” I said quickly. “I don't know you.” My voice came out so normal, I almost sounded bored. I hope he doesn't take any offense to my rudeness.

He hesitated a moment but still he reached out and brushed the back of his fingers on my cheek keeping them there. I was frozen, I felt his warmth radiate through my cheek. It felt so good almost perfect and yet, I didn't feel the sparks.

“Don't tell me you don't feel this.” His voice barely a whisper, he didn't ask me he had asked himself. He brushed his thumb on my cheek in a tiny circle and his eyes were troubled with confusion.

I could see his eyes shifting from grey to gold and back. His wolf was fighting him for control. A control I couldn't explain. Desperation perhaps? I knew deep down that this was the person I was supposed to share the rest of my life with, yet I couldn't feel the sparks that are supposed to be there when mates touch.

Maybe it's because I don't have...

Her

Ever since I first shifted that dreadfull night it was quiet. There was an emptiness inside my mind. An emptiness that wasn't supposed to be there. I was taught that when you'd shift for the first time a wolf spirit will awaken within your mind. It will be your guide, she or he will help you to make decisions, they'll help you find the one for you. They tell you who your soul mate is.

That's why I didn't feel anything. I didn't have the presence of a wolf spirit inside me. My mind has always been awfully quiet. Unless ofcourse I let my walls down so the pack's conversations would just fill my mind.

I'm going to be honest here I'm scared, I'm very scared. I'm a female alpha yet I'm scared of the person who is touching my cheek in such gentle and loving gesture. While in my confused and scared state I shouted somthing at which Lucas flinched back and looked at me with hurt.

All to soon I heard the door of my office slam open and heavy footsteps headed toward the kitchen. Seconds later Jonathan stood in the doorway ready to attack whoever or whatever caused his alpha's distress. When he saw Lucas he seemed to relax for a moment only to stiffen again a second later.