Be my end (Laxus X reader)

Chapter 6- Adapting to the new norm

"And this is how Carla and I joined Fairy tail," Wendy finishes telling you about the nirvana incident.

"I'm sorry about Cate Shelter," you say feeling sorrow for this child. "It must have been hard loosing your guildmates all of a sudden".

"Oh, it's okay. I'm all better now. I had Erza and the others to help me stand up again. Fairy tail is my new family!" she replies sincerely and smiling so happily that your heart skips a beat. No words can express your longing for such happiness.

"What about you Cana? Why did you join fairy tail?" you ask the brunette who's gulping down a liquor bottle. She slams it on the coffee table centered in the living room of the ground floor in Fairy Hills. You sweatdrop and wonder if it was your place to question something like that.

"Who me?" she points at her chest with her thumb, " i joined cause i wanted to meet my old man".

"Your old man? What does that mean?" you go over the expression, trying to figure out what it implies.

"My father... Gildarts" she looks at you funny. "How long is it since you've had a conversation with someone?"

"Cana!" Erza shocks out, "don't be so disrespectful!" she scolds the female who, somehow, has a new bottle in her hand.

"Oh no. Don't worry Erza. It's okay," you sweatdrop again and smile nervously.

"Still... Cana was out of line to ask such question," a blue haired female looks at you with sympathy but you shake your head.

"No she wasn't. This gathering is for us to get to know each other better so there's nothing offensive about her question," you exhale as the atmosphere goes back to normal. "Anyways, the answer is... Well..." you try to remember who it was you last spoke to. Seriously memory? now of all times?! I'm trying to adapt to the new norm so help a little... Come on brain! Work, work!

"It's alright if you don't remember. The same thing would happen to me if i were as old as you are," Erza says calmly but her eyes dilate rapidly upon realising the words that came out of her mouth. 

"ERZA!" all the girls yell simultaneously at the blushing mess who's covering her mouth.

You burst with laughter, "you should see your faces right now!" A sigh escapes you as you adjust your composure, "don't worry i'm not going to go all berserk on you for calling me old. But yeah, i don't remember who was the last person i spoke to but i think it was before Pret left the guild and made Maki the master". 

"THAT LONG?!" Cana spits her drink out and the rest just have pure white faces.

You continue chatting with the ladies; Erza telling you about Jellal, Carla narrating the events that went down in Edolas, Levy recalling the grand magic games and what happened afterwards. The battle against Tartaros, the Alvarez war... The spirit world mishaps and the chaos left behind the eclipse project. Wendy and Erza are talking about their team's funniest adventures when Evergreen's jealousy spikes and she brags about Laxus and the thunder legion.

"So what you're saying is that Laxus is the strongest wizard in Fairy Tail," you look at Evergreen then at Erza, " i thought you were".

"No. She's correct. Laxus is the strongest," Erza closes her eyes and sighs.

"HEY! WHERE DOES MY OLD MAN FALL IN THAT CATEGORY? HUH?!" a drunk Cana blabbers and waves her empty bottle in the air. You take it away from her, afraid she may throw it by accident at someone's head. 

"Gildarts was it?" you distract her as the girls hide all the liquor and empty bottles away and out of Cana's reach.

"How cute," Evergreen says in mockery, "little Cana got worked up for her daddy's sake". The fairy mage snickers. 

Oh no... you think to yourself allowing Cana some space. The latter swings her leg and kicks Evergreen in the face; who falls to the ground unconscious. 

"Okay time for you to go to bed Cana," you sigh and chop at her neck knocking her out.

"We'll take care of the mess here. You can go and rest," Erza suggests as she throws Cana over her shoulder like a potato sac.

"It's okay. Missing some sleep won't hurt little ol'me. I'll get Evergreen to her room," you kindly reply and crouch near the mentioned fairy.

"Alright, Wendy why don't you guide our new guildmate to Ever's room?" Erza asks and leaves the room. The sky dragonslayer nods and guides you around Fairy Hills. Once Evergreen is tucked nicely in bed, you follow Wendy to your room. 

"Thanks Wendy," you smile at the kind child before you, who returns the smile and takes off.

Well, the room's quite warm and comfortable...  you sit in the bed and heave another sigh.  Things sure have changed since the last time i was around. At least, there are few things new for me to learn... Hopefully. You frown down at your lap, Cana's question ringing in your mind. Who was it that i last saw before going into wakeless sleep... Why can't i remember?  You place your hand on your temple. My memory must be affected by the fact that i woke up earlier... Maybe a small walk down to the lake will help. 

Wanting to avoid worrying your guildmates this late at night, you decide against going through the front door and leap out of the window. Landing swiftly on the grass below, you start your march towards the lake. The moment you reach your destination, you sit on the sand and gaze at the scenery.

(https://youtu.be/4V-qZZ5ivnQ , i recommend listening to this ost while reading the paragraph below and try to hum along with it. It's an amazing experience :) )

Dark blue sky glittered with shimmering countless stars. Distant hues of purple and green intertwining, resembling  aurora borealis. The water is serene, reflecting the majestic space. A light breeze brushes against your small frame, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin, even tho you were fully clothed. You bring your knees to your chest and hug them. Such breathtaking view, the stars so far away, yet their light still reach you; the water's tranquility, as if it's admiring the sky above as well; the leaves carried by the light breeze, detached from their secure home. Your eyes slightly close, glimmering in awe at such marvel. Your ears listen to the sounds of leaves rattling and dancing with the breeze. You close your eyes completely, focusing more on the song that's playing in the distant, possibly at the park. You hum along. Memories come flooding back; smiles you shared with the 5 dragons, sleepless nights you spent with Mavis, countless encounters with Zeref, multiple attempts to reason with Acnologia... All gone. No one is left. You don't even remember your family, your childhood friends- if you had any. Your first love- if you had even met him. Your mother's sweet and tender voice, you try to recall it. Your father's smile in the morning, you try to bring it back to light... You aren't sure if this is how it used to be with your family anymore. The pain of forgetting the couple that brought you into this world claws at your heart and tears it apart. You stop humming and a tear escapes your eye. You sniffle and tighten your grasp on your knees. Why... What did i do to deserve this... I never wanted to live this long... This long... 

This one tear is followed by another. And another. And another. You can't control them as they fall drop by drop on your lap. 

"Someone..."

"Please..."

"Explain to me why..."

"Why am I like this..."

"please... someone end me..." you choke out the words you hated the most.

"So you're feeling restless too?" a gentle male voice queries.

Author's note:

I cried while writing the second part of this chapter... 

Anyways!! * shakes head vigorously *

I'm happy that you're reading my story and i want to express my undying gratitude! 

That's all i want to say. 

Lots of love <3 <3

Stay positive :)