"Stupid! You're so stupid!"
The voices in my head had started.
"Pointless! Worthless! Stupid!"
They want to kill me. They want me gone. Imprisoning my mind, my thoughts. They know what I'm thinking.
How?
I'm not safe. Every syllable of their venomous words, a sharpened dagger, plunging into my diseased mind.
They're breaking me.
They're breaking me down. Consuming my soul with their every sentence, a deadly structure of ruthless, ruinous remarks. Isolating me from sanity. The voices, suffocating my innocent and gentle thoughts, which are now fading into the black backgrounds of my lost mind.
Restricting all rational thoughts.
"Stupid! Pointless! Stupid!"
I try to escape, like a child from the monsters in their worst nightmares.
Monsters! That's what they are! Nothing but malevolent monsters, infesting, poisoning my thoughts.
"Stupid! Look at you! You're disguisting!"
Their words, sharp talons, gnawing at my weak mind, making me feel worthless and vulnerable. Slowly turning me insane.
The repitition of their spiteful comments and commands shattered my delicate skull, like a birds egg falling from its nest.
My fear of them, overwhelming. They couldn't hurt me....could they?
"They won't hurt you unless you let them" the psychiatrists words ripped me from my deep dark thoughts. Ignoring what he had just said i slipped back into my suppressing world of confinement.
Laughing. Their laughs are the worst. Sending me spiralling down a never ending staircase of senselessness and solitude. The laughing, it was unbearable, mocking me as i tried to get rid of them. They said it would help, my family, the doctors, they said talking to a psychiatrist would help, but it wasnt helping at all. They still mock me.
They still shout and howl their wicked words into my frail brain. How much longer could i take it?
Confusion seeping in through every pore of my rattling body. I shook to the very core, as if i'd been doused with ice cold water, trembling uncontrollably.
It felt like the devil himself was inside my very being, scratching at my rotting insides, mercilessly trying to find some way to escape. Was i keeping him inside? Was this my fault?
A loud beeping rang through my eardrums snapping me out of the deep consuming world of my mind once again.
"We'll have to finish it there" announced the psychiatrist as he stood up from his regal red armchair. I took in the surroundings for the first time, how had i never noticed how posh it looked before, the walls covered in shelfs each one filled with old dusty books. Each book bursting with hundreds of different peoples knowledge.
I couldnt leave now though. This is the only place i felt safe from them. From myself. If i left now I'd drown in voices, they'd take over this time for sure. I could feel it.
