Sweet as honey • James Maguire

1,5•He's English, They'll love him.

We were all sat round the table, eating breakfast, while the marches where going on outside. The loud bangs of the drums made the plates jump every time they were struck. "Already? They've started already?" Mary questioned, while dragging her suitcase into the front room. "I think it's just a rehearsal, love." Gerry told his wife, while picking up baby Anna. "They've been playing the same three songs since 1795. What do they need to rehearse for?" Mary questioned the lot of us. "Well, practise makes perfect, Aunt Mary." Orla started "you know, that it why they are so cracker." She said. Oh my god. "I'm sorry? Did you just call the Orange order cracker?" Erin questioned are strange cousin. "I'm considering joining" Orla said simply, as if it where the easiest thing in the world. "I don't think they accept Catholics, Orla, or, you know, acknowledge our right to exist." Erin said, truthfully.

"Give us a hand here, Gerry. This'll not close." Mary asked her husband, who had just finished putting the baby down in her cot. He walked over and bent down in front of the suitcase. "We need to shift ourselves. We're the last Fenians standing." Mary told us, while directly looking at me. "Get dressed you." She finished, before ushering me up the stairs. Just as Granda was telling her to relax.

After I had a shower, brushed my teeth, gone to the toilet and all other necessary things. I got dressed into a black T-shirt, and tucked that into some high waisted light wash, black denim jeans. My trusted docs decorated my feet. I then sat in front of my vanity, and did some light make up. I grabbed my holiday bag and run downstairs to a much busier sight then I left.

"Okay I'm going in" Mary said as I walked downstairs. There was a broken cup that she was starting to sweep up on the floor, so automatically I stood up onto a chair. Just then the door behind me opened revealing Deirdre, Michelle And James.
I smiled sweetly at the boy, still over the moon about our last date. "For the love of God don't come in here" Mary shouted at the newcomers. "Everything alright Mary?" Deirdre questioned. Stay back Deirdre, this place is a death trap" Mary dramatically told the mum of one. " listen Mary, I hate to do this to you, but me and Martin are both working nights, and I'm nervous about leaving these two on their own, what's with the day that's in it. I don't suppose there's any chance you take them with you?" Deidre questioned the already stressed women. "Ach, Away, Deirdre it's just-" Mary started. "The English thing?" Deidre interrupted while sighing. "Listen, Mary, I understand. I mean he's my nephew, and I even find it hard to get past. If I'm totally honest, there's times when I look at him and I feel..." Deirdre looked over at her nephew, slightly sickened. "Well... It's pure hatred. I will not dress it up." Deirdre said rudely. "No, no, it's not the English thing" Mary corrected her. "Hope to God it's not the gay thing you're offended by." Deidre angrily accused. "There is no gay thing" James interrupted. Making me smile sympathetically at the boy. "Because I'd be disappointed in you, Mary, I'm not lie" Deidre truthfully told the woman. "Of course not." Mary rushed out. "I mean, if anything, the gay thing sort of cancels out the English thing." Mary quickly told the woman with a small smile. "Again, no gay thing." James told the parents, annoyed. "You wouldn't move over there, James? I can't see past your massive closet." Michelle whispered to the curly haired boy

"I'm just not sure we'll have room in the caravan."Mary told the woman honestly. "It'll be grand." Grandad Joe told the bunch "us men can camp outside" he said enthusiastically, causing murmers to erupt from James and Gerry. "Run and asked Jim across the road for the lend of his tent." Granda said, looking directly at Erin. "Well, thanks a million, Mary. I owe you one. Yeah, if you want or Ryan to sort out that gable wall of yours, you've only got to ask." Everyones backs straightened out. "What's wrong with our gable wall?" Mary questioned, before sending all of us out to get the tent.

We were in Jim's house, watching him demonstrate the handiness of double glazed windows. They left Orla amazed every time. "Yes, as I said Jim, it's amazing it truly is... but as I said were in a bit of a hurry so, If I could just grab that tent" Erin tried to hurry the man. The man then opened and closed his window again causing Orla to let out a small "mind blowing" before he got up to get his tent leaving us all standing in silence in the room, all of us just wanting to leave.