Sweet as honey • James Maguire

2,4•Ew, Ew, Ew. Fuck That.

"Are they still claiming that Aunt Mary's a witch?" I asked the family as we walked Into the wake of our Aunt Bridie. "Yes. But she's not a witch! Caoimhe, don't go spreading that now." Gerry whisper shouted at me. I hadn't heard the conversation that the family had had previously, due to James taking me out on a date. I'm pretty sure it was to prove that he only had eyes for me, and not my boyfriend stealing cousin, but none the less, it's was grand.

As soon as we entered the house, me, Orla and Erin separated from all the adults, wanting to entertain ourselves instead of sitting and listening to the boring conversations that were undoubtedly going to be held by the adults. We walked into the room where Aunt Bridie was resting. "She really suites being dead, doesn't she?" Orla questioned. "Aye, now she can't remind me about how much of a disappointment I must have been to my mother for her to leave me here." I said, being honest about what Aunt Bridie used to tell me frequently. I poked her cheek as the door opened, revealing Clare and Michelle peaking round the corner. "Can we come in?" Clare whispered to us. "Why are you whispering?" Erin asked her. "I don't know." She told the girl, before entering the room. Michelle and James following. "Thanks for coming guys, it's nice to have a bit of support at this very difficult time." Erin said, solemnly. "Oh shut up Erin, you hated her as much as I did." I told her, before cupping Bridies face and inspecting her earrings to see if they were valuable. Well she wasn't going to need them now that she's dead so I may as well make some money. James grabbed my hands away from the body. "Okay, can I just check something?" He asked while still holding my hands. "Everybody Else can see the dead body, right?" He asked as if he was going insane. "It's just Bridie!" Erin said, almost flirtatiously. I looked her up and down before wrapping my arms around James torso. "It's Bridies corpse. It's Bridies dead corpse." James tried to correct the girl.  "It's her wake. What were you expecting?" Michelle questioned him. "Aye, you can't celebrate someone's life without them being there can you?" I rhetorically asked him. "Haven't you ever seen a dead body before?" Erin casually questioned the boy. "Of course not!" He told us, as if it where normal. "Christ, but the English are weird." Michelle said, making me nod in agreement. "Aye, James. I'm sorry but that is a bit weird." I told him honestly,
Making him pout down at me.

"You can touch her if you want." Orla told him, touching Bridies face. I nodded along, grabbing her hand. "Aye, you can" I smiled at the boy before he snatched my hand away from the body. "Why the hell would I want to touch her?! Why are you touching her, Caoimhe?" James questioned me. "It's nice" Orla simply said, making me giggle. I reached for her hand again, making James slap it away. "Stop it!" He shouted. "It's just a dead body, James. We're all going to be one someday." Clare tried to calm the boy down. "Oh thanks for that, Clare. Yeah that's helped." James said, annoyed. "It really makes you think, doesn't it? Death. It just... it makes you want to do everything and just, like, try everything." Michelle said, suspiciously. "What's going on, Michelle?" Clare called her out. "Do yous wanna see something class?" Michelle said. I grabbed James hand in anticipation. She put her bag on the body and started pulling something out of it. "Prepare yourself, Girls." She told us before pulling a tub of scones out. "Scones." Me and Erin said at the same time. "Thats Right." Michelle answered. "Whats so class about scones?" Erin asked her, making us all respond with our own appreciation for scones. "These aren't any old scones, girls. These are funny scones." Michelle whispered the last part. "Aye they do look like good craic in fairness." Orla said, I nodded in agreement. "Funny scones?" Erin asked, confused. "They're drug scones! She's put the drugs in the scones!" Clare shouted. "Too fucking Right I have. I wanted to do brownies but this was the only recipe my Ma had, so..." Michelle responded. "Fucking get in!" I shouted in joy before picking one up. "No! Caoimhe, put it back! I'm not having you high at your Aunts wake. Mary will kill me!" James said, wrestling the scone off of me. I pouted. "Just a Bit?" I tried to bargain. He shook his head at me, making my pout deepen. "Drugs aren't illegal when you put them in food. Everybody knows that." Michelle tried to tell us. "Is that right? I'm not sure that's right." James started, before being interrupted by someone asking for cups. "I'll take that." The old women told James, taking the tub of brownies out of his hands. We all looked at each other, shocked. "What the fuck just happened?!" Michelle shouted. We all walked out the room, going our separate ways to try and locate the scones.