Sweet as honey • James Maguire

2,1•It was only a what? Caoimhe?

We were all sitting in front of the stage which Sister Michael, the other headmistress, and the Priest from that one time we thought Erins dog had been resurrected. "Okay, so I see a few familiar faces out there. As some of you may know, I took a bit of a sabbatical last year." Father Peter started. "Do you mean when you shacked up with a slutty hairdresser but then she dumped you?" Michelle shouted out at him. "Miss Mallon, please! Raise your hand if you want to ask a question" Sister Michael told the girl. Michelle's hand immediately rose. "Okay, I think we should just... move on." Father told the girl, making her lower her hand. "Ok, so this is just a little exercise I like to kick off with. I want you guys to give me examples of things that Catholics and Protestants have in common. And things that they don't have in common. Erin, why don't you get the ball rolling?" Father Peter asked my cousin.

"Okay. So, we both...right...So, we all. God, this is actually quite hard." Erin told the priest, drawing up blank. "Anything at all, a small thing, even." The priest tried to encourage. "Okay, so... right. God, I'm actually drawing a blank here, to be honest." Erin said laughing. "Not to worry. Someone else? A similarity? Yes." The priest asked for one of the Protestant boys to answer. "Protestants are British and Catholics are Irish." The boy said. "That's a difference, dumbass" I told him, fed up with these stupid Protestants. James wrapped his arm round my shoulder and put his hand over my mouth to shut me up. "So that's actually a difference. Quite a... Quite a big difference. But that's Okay, we can write that down." Father Peter ignored my comment and signalled for Jenny to write down the difference. "Now, back to similarities. Yes" the priest asked for Michelle to speak. "Protestants are richer." Michelle said another difference. "Okay, so that's another difference. And I'm not sure that's actually... I mean is that true?" The priest asked the two women beside him. "I would say so." Sister Mary told the priest. "Ummm, yeah, I suppose that's fair enough." The other headmistress agreed.

Jon then raised his hand. "Yes, great. Off you go." The priest asked for him to answer. "Catholics really buzz off statues and we don't so much." He answered, pointing out yet another difference, I rolled my eyes. "I do enjoy a good statue, it has to be said." Sister Michael agreed. "So again, what we have there is a difference." Father Peter told us again. "Ooh! Protestants like to March and Catholics like to walk." Orla said truthfully. "Okay, can we just? Jenny could you just... oh you've already written it down, have you? Great, thank you, Jenny." The priest spoke to the girl. "I just want to pause and think about what's in here. What about the fact that we all feel and love and hope and... Write this down. We all cry. We all laugh. We all dream. So I just want to think along those lines for a moment. Okay?" Father Peter asked us. We all contemplated for another minute, before he asked us for our answers, all of which, were differences. The session finally ended, with 0 similarities on the board and about 80 differences.

It was later on in the night when Michelle had the grand idea off sneaking up to the Protestant boys room. I was wearing sleep shorts and one of James old shirts he gave me, my hair in a messy bun.
"I'm not sure about this." Erin worriedly said. " I knew you'd fanny out." Michelle whispered to the girl. "These lads have moved. You said so yourself, Michelle. And I haven't got any moves!" Erin said worried. "Look, let's just get in there, have a few drinks and just loosen up a bit." Michelle told the girl. "No! No loosening up! I don't like it!" Clare angrily whispered. "Just be confident, Erin. Boys like that." James told my cousin. "How the fuck would you know what boys like?" Michelle questioned her cousin. "Cos I'm a boy, Michelle! A real life boy." James seriously told her. "Aw, yeah like Pinocchio" Orla whispered, making me and James look at her strangely.

We made it to the room, where Jon opened the door. "We Heard youse we're having a party?" Michelle asked the confused. Boy "no?" He replied. "Well you are now." Michelle said, before walking inside the room. Me and James sat down together by the window. Michelle having making out with Harry on his bed... finally, I thought he'd never leave me alone. "How far have you gone with someone? Like sexually?" James asked me, making me look up at him from my position of having my head on his shoulder. "Oh umm.." I started, questioning myself on wether I should lie or not. I decided not too. If he's willing to break up with me over this, he's not worth it. "I've um... I've gone all the way." I said, scared for his reaction. "Oh, okay, cool." He responded shortly. "Why? What about you?" I questioned him. "I've not done anything really, apart from kissing you, which is great of course." He said slyly. I think I was starting to understand what he wanted. "You want to change that?" I questioned him quietly, leaning in closer to him. "I uh- what are you suggesting we do?" He asked me, clearly not knowing what to do in this sort of situation. "I'm suggesting that we go into that bathroom, and see where things take us." I told him sweetly, before standing up and grabbing his hand, leading him to the bathroom.