Sweet as honey • James Maguire

2,3•Dont Blame Me Blame the Milk Tray Man

We were sitting on the couch, watching a take that performance on the Television, listening to Granda complain about it. I was sitting cuddled up to James, waiting for us to leave. Me and James were allowed to see each other again after I talked to Mary and Gerry about how the punishment was effecting me, and me and James promised not to go anything like that until we were married (which is a strange thing to promise, considering how young we were, but oh well). "God almighty, I don't know what the world is coming to. Bloody perverts." Granda said to us all. Making Mary tell him that he's overreacting. "Overreacting? That lads got no trousers on, for Christ's sake." He told her. I looked over to James who had no hint of a smile on his face. "What's wrong mr grumpy?" I questioned, poking his cheek. "I have to spend all day at this concert, watching you fawning over Gary Barlow." He told me, making me giggle. "Aye. But you love him too." I agreed. "I don't love him. I just respect him as a writer." He told me, making me sarcastically nod.

"Why do they keep touching themselves?" Granda questioned. "Because they're artists, Granda." Erin simply explained. "Dirty English bastards is what they are." Granda replied, causing me to shoot him a glare. "No offence, son" he quickly covered up. Granda switched the channel, causing me to sigh and lean my head on James chest. I closed my eyes, hoping to nap for the short while until we leave. "Come on girls, it's time to hit the road here. They roped you to going as well son?" Gerry questioned James. "Roped in? Hardly. He's riding Gary Barlow." Michelle answered for James, making me giggle. "I am not! I just respect him as a song writer, that's all. And plus, I couldn't say no to Caoimhe when she asked, she looked to cute." He said making Michelle and Erin fake gag, while I awed at him and kissed his cheek. "Will we need our passports, Gerry?" Orla questioned our uncle. "For Belfast? I don't think so, love." Gerry responded. "Belfast?" Granda questioned. "Aren't we a bit early daddy?" Erin interrupted. "It's a two hour drive with traffic, love." Gerry responded, ignoring Joe. "This things in Belfast?" Granda protested, getting up. "But it's eight hours till the doors open." Erin said, not wanting to be ridiculously late. "Aye, we're cutting it fine" Gerry warned the girl. "Belfast! Sure why don't you just sell the wains into white slavery and be done with it?" Granda finally exploded, making me sigh. "Gerry will be with them Da." Mary tried to calm him down. "Well that's worse! Sure they hate his kind there." Granda said. "My kind?" Gerry questioned back. "Pricks." Granda bluntly answered. Mary told her Da about how we're still going to the concert, until she was interrupted by the TV. It warned us about an escaped polar bear from Belfast zoo that was on the loose, making Mary changer her mind as to wether we could go or not.

"Wise up Mammy! As if a polar bears gonna rock up to a Take That Concert!" Erin tried to persuade her Ma. "He wouldn't get a ticket for a start! They sold out moths ago." Orla contributed to the argument. "Aye! And how could he get through the turnstiles? He'd be too big." I added on. "You'd be surprised girls." Mary told us, mysteriously. "Aye, them boys would get in where draughts wouldn't." Granda said, not making any sense. "Sure, the concerts no where near the zoo." Gerry told him. "But he's not in the zoo anymore, is he, simple Simon? He's sauntering around Belfast without a care in the world." Granda argued. Causing Sarah to agree with him. "What I'm saying is, it would be quite a lot of ground for him to cover." Gerry said smartly. "They're quick on their feet when they want to be, love." Mary told him. "Or someone might give him a lift." Orla said, making me look at her. "Whose side are you on, Orla?" Erin quickly questioned the girl. "Come on, Mary. If you don't let Erin go, our Mas won't let us go." Michelle tried to reason. "Well, neither they should! And I'll be ringing them to say as much." Mary replied. "I hate my life." James said, making me stare at him. "Why? Because you can't go see Gary Barlow?" I questioned him, catching him out. "What- I- no- because I brought this ticket just because I couldn't say no to you, and now we're not even going" he tried to play off. "Mmhmm, sure" I nodded along, not believing it.

"Look, Girls, I know how much you were all looking forward to seeing This n' That." Mary started, before being interrupted by Erin. "TAKE That!" Erin shouted. "But there'll be other concerts." Mary said, all of us knowing she was lying. "No, there won't! The fact that this ones happening is a miracle." Erin reminded us, making me want to cry. "No one wants to come here cause we keep on killing each other!" Erin continued. "And now we're overrun with polar bears." Sarah added. "Where will it end?" Granda questioned. "SERIOUSLY?" Erin shouted out.

We were all In Erins room where we devised a plan of action after being banned from going to see Take That. "Okay. We've gone down a bit of a weird road here, people, I think we may have gotten a bit confused. We don't have to fight a polar bear. And if we did, I wouldn't really fancy our chances because, well, they're massive." Clare interrupted our previous conversation. "But there's five of us so..." Orla tried to reason. "The point is the polar bears not the one stopping us going to the concert, it's our mother's. And we'll never get them to change their minds." Clare told us all. "We're not gonna try and change their minds. We're going to do something else." Michelle told us. "What?" James questioned. "Lie our holes off." Michelle finished, before telling us the plan.

We were on the bus to Belfast, and I fell asleep on James shoulder most of the journey, only to be woken up by the sight of Sister Micheal in front of me. "What- what the fuck?" I asked to no one in particular, wondering if what I was seeing is real. Sister Micheal shot me a glare, causing me to grab James hand out of fear. "As I was about to ask... Excuse me, everyone! Can I have your attention, please?" Sister Micheal turned to the rest of the bus, making me look around in confusion. "Does anyone own the red suitcase?" She continued asking, making me worried. No one claimed the bag, making us all evacuate the bus. "Holy shit... we could totally habe died right then, who's fucking bag was that? What if it's a bomb?" I started panicking. James grabbed my hands "don't worry Caoimhe, it's Michelle's bag, she just can't claim it because it's filled with alcohol." James whispered to me, calming me down.

"Sweet Jesus!" Clare whispered, as we watched the wee robot move towards the bag. "Aye, this isn't great." Erin told us. "Ach, it's not that big a deal." Michelle tried to tell us. I lightly slapped the back of her head. "They're going to blow up an entire suitcase of vodka, Michelle!" Erin tried to get the girl to realise the seriousness of the situation. "I know, animals." Michelle responded. "Their wee beekeeper costumes are so cracker" Orla said, causing me to nod my head. "Aye, I like the little robot, do you think it's got a name?" I asked, only to receive a glare from Erin. "You're unbelievable!" Erin shouted at Michelle. "Don't blame me! Blame the Milk Tray man." Michelle said, trying to find someone to blame. "This is really serious, Michelle! People have gone to jail for less." Erin said seriously. "Why is this place so mental?" James questioned, making me shake my head. "That's enough James. You have serious fucking anger management issues, do you know that?" Michelle told her cousin. I rubbed James arm, feeling bad for him. Suddenly there was a loud bang, causing me to jump up, and James to wrap his arms around me protectively. We all looked to where they had shot the suitcase. The army men were talking over the radio about how the scene could now be cleared. Before we could walk away we all heard them talk about the smell of vodka.

"Vodka, did he say? Interesting" Sister Micheal said while turning towards us. We all started to back up before running away from the scene. I grabbed James hand as we were sprinting off, finding the fun in the situation. We were so fucked, but it was kinda funny.

———————————————————————————

1489 words.

A bit of a shorter chapter but it made more sense to end the scene here.

But that means a longer chapter tomorrow! Hurray!

I hope you enjoyed, vote and comment if you did <3

Caoimhe and James are allowed to be together!! Yayyy!! How are we feeling?

But yeah, cya tomorrow