Together till the end

part 24

Jughead pov

Jake is learning many new things and is getting extremely good at walking, considering he is almost 2 years old now it's expected... But still, he's our little baby.

 B-"you're so good Jake! Now walk over to daddy again." Betty smiles at him turning him around and he starts walking my way. I grin widely at him as he does it almost perfectly. J-"look at you go," I grin at him, holding onto him and placing a quick kiss to his cheek. 

Ja-"cake daddy! pleaws!" He bust out still standing in my grib as I'm leaning up against the couch where I'm sitting on the floor. I laugh at him and look ahead of me and at Betty. J-"He's never gonna let that go," She shakes her head, B-"definitely not." she agrees, he walks out of my grip again and moves away from the living room. 

I quickly get on my feet and walk after him. J-"hey hey Jakey boy, where do you think you're doing?" I question and pick him up to stop him from walking further into the kitchen. 

Ja-"Cake daddy," he pouted, I chuckled at him and shook my head. Betty poops into the kitchen as I'm about to tell him no. B-"Later Jake, promise. But now-" she stops and takes him from me. B-"it's nap time," she tells him and kisses his cheek as he starts whining. 

They walk out of the kitchen and move upstairs as I sit on the couch and let reality sink into me for a while. Frustrated I run my hands over my face and through my hair. A few minutes later Betty sits down on the couch with a sigh and mumbels that he's asleep.

 I don't want to have this conversation I know is about to start and I don't want to have it with us screaming at each other, but I'm afraid that's what it'll end up with. We somehow always manage to let our frauston get the best of us. 

B-"I took-" I cut her off quickly, J-"I know, saw it in the bin." I admit seeing it just earlier this morning. B-"and now you're mad at me." she murmurs, of course I'm fucking pissed. But not at her, never at her. I don't repson which is probably not the best but I have no idea what to say.

 B-"Jug, do you not want another baby?" My head immediately snaps to look at her at the unexpected question, seeing her looking to her feet. J-"what," I spit through my teeth, my blood boiling. J-"Betty what the fuck," I hiss slighty to harsh and attempt to calm myslef down. 

B-"you can't blame me for asking! You're always getting so pissed off every time we try to talk about this! It's not easy on anyone Jug! So please stop being so stuck up." she says loudly, almost yelling at me. I look coldly at her, J-"well maybe if you use that brain you were born with you will realize how fucked up that question was! Seriously Betty, I don't want anything fucking more than that, and you know it! I'm getting pissed because it's exhausted sometimes and it's ripping through us!" I hiss, I stop myself from speaking up again, slightly taking back by my own words. 

Her eyes met mine and became glassy with tears which makes me feel even worse. B-"Well how would I know?! You always back away and when I try to bring it up, you flip me off! Hell I'm even surprised we're talking about this now!" yelling, she means yelling but I know she won't admit it and I don't plan on bringing it up and end up yelling more at each other. 

I watch as a tear rolls down her cheek. I have to stop myself from reaching over and wiping it away. I don't want to make things worse, I know she'll tell me to piss of. I take a second longer and think about my words not wanting to hurt her but I'm bolling with frustration and anger. 

I breathe in through my nose for an extra time before speaking up. J-"I don't exactly want to sound like a pussy in front of my wife, Betty." I try keeping my voice a bit more down, and continue knowing she won't say anything as she stares blankly. 

J-"I fell helpless Betty beacuse it's not fucking easy for me either! It sounds so pathetic but it rips through me every time you tell me how excited you are about another baby, I want to give you exactly that. I want to give everyting in the fucking world but I can't, I don't control this and I hate it! There is nothing I can do."

 A shaky breath leaves my lips and I can't tear my eyes away from the helpless woman besides me, J-"I would give you everything, Betty." I tell her again and stand from the couch before I start crying as well. 

I walk out of the living room and down the hall to my little home office. I wipe the single tear that slipped as I feel like shit for walking away. But I need to calm down before I apologize for throwing so much shit at her once. 

I'm hurt too and excited at the same time, I know what she's feeling. 

I know her. 

I want it so badly and I can't help but feel like trash for not knowing what to do or how to cope with this for a second time. Of course we expected it to take time but neither of us can bear the thought of it being as painful and long as it took with Jake. The only thing we have to hold on to is hope, but that feels so out of reache too, especially when we argue or fight over someting too stupid to mention.