What If I Told You That I Like You

Your So Human

"Tell me how do you know me [Y/N]? How much do you know?" I tried to move a little away from his face as I panicked. I always panic when I get confronted. "I...I..." Dazai noticed how I was trying to move away so he bought himself even closer. So close that I could see his handsome face in high definition. His hands gripped the railings tighter.

"[Y/N] answer me please." His eyes were determined to get answers from me. It almost felt like one of those interrogations he held back during the days of the dark era.

"I can't tell you..." I quietly murmured.

I can't tell him that he is a fictional character while knowing how broken his character is in the story. I don't want to be just another monster hiding under his bed. I don't want to be another one of those. Then again he is a smart guy he will probably figure it out at some point. But I don't want it to be from me I don't want to be the one to tell him that Oda's death was written by someone in our world. He truly will be no longer human after hearing something like that. No I can't do that to him. I could kill him with my words I should be careful.

Dazai finally spoke out.

"Maybe I should try a different technique [Y/N]?"

My eyes widened in panic. What is he planning to do? He isn't in the Mafia anymore but what is he capable of doing to me?

Dazai kept my gaze fixed on his until he finally broke the deafening silence with a grin. "Geez I won't do anything [Y/N]. Who do you think I am?" His eyes softened. Since you mysteriously know me so well I'm guessing that you know that I am a changed man for awhile now" as he spoke his hands escaped the railings with tinted red finger tips from holding on to the railings tightly. He must have wanted answers badly but he had now realised that there is something preventing me from telling him the truth.

His arms began to wave around in a silly manner.

"I'm sorry if I scared you [Y/N chan] ~" he added.

"Now then I guess it's time for me to leave you my lady! I must head out into this wild world all by myself with nowhere to go!" He moaned. "Maybe I'll find a place to commit suicide under the moonlight now wouldn't that be a site! Goodbye [Y/N] it was nice knowing you!" He turned around with his back facing me. His delicate hands slid back into his pockets where the bandages I gave him were placed. His deep dark brown hair danced in the breeze. Hmm his hair is so soft almost like puppy fur which was ironic as he didn't like dogs.

"Wait!" I shouted hesitantly. I was anxious but I just found out that this was Dazai and despite the fact that, he just interrogated me I can't let him go like this what if he commits suicide in our world! I prevented him from doing it once but to prevent it from happening in general I should keep an eye on him until he returns to his own world.

"What is it [Y/N]?" he kept his back facing me as he spoke those words.

"You can stay with me! I live with my friends but I'm sure we could find a spot for you in the house temporarily!" I tightened my fists as I spoke out those words "Please I can't let you go like this...not yet anyway...please will you stay with me until your back in your world" I anxiously bit my lips. A surge of pain surrounded me as I bit a little too hard from worrying so much. My hands began to shake. They always do when I take risks. I hate it. I look so weird standing here shaking in public.

Dazai turned around with his mouth open as he was ready to respond to my words but he froze holding his expression frozen in time as he saw my hands shaking.

"[Y/N-]"

"I know I'm shaking...I'm sorry...I'll understand if you don't want anything to do with me...I'm so strange....I shake at absolutely anything-" I croaked.

Tears ran down my face. My skin became pale like a sheet of snow. I never cry in front of people! How am I crying now? Where are my sunglasses when I need them so that I could hide my teary [E/C] eyes and my runny mascara. I can't show him my vulnerable side maybe he'll use it to get information out of me. Hah. Look at me I look pathetic! I swiftly turned around in attempt to hide myself from Dazai. He is going to leave because I am like this...Hah.

I continued to shake until I felt a presence beside me. "[Y/N] look at me" I refused to look back as my eyes continued to tear up as I gazed at the sleeping ocean. By this point the sun faded away leaving only a speck of light in view.

"[Y/N]" I felt Dazai gently turn my body around. He began to take his coat off revealing his scars. They were all deep and tinted in various shades of pink. The darker shades revealed deeper wounds. Those abstract drawings on his arms must represent his suicide attempts. Each image seemed to tell a story and speak words that a human could never. He never showed these scars to anyone not even his closest friend Oda although I'm sure that he knew it all.

Still crying I once again tried to hide my pitiful face using my arms this time as I forced to look forward towards him now.

"What are you doing Dazai?" I barely managed because of my current state but I spoke out those words.

"Here you could hide your tears using my coat if you don't want me to see. Although I think that those tears are beautiful. So human. I'm jealous [Y/N] that you can express such emotions. Those transparent crystal tears decorate your face. They tell me that your human and that you're a wonderful person with a bright heart." He smiled as he handed over his overesized coat to me. My eyes widened at his words. Beautiful? Are they? And of course! Here I am acting like this forgetting that Dazai never got the chance to be human. From a young age he was taught to reject his emotions and instead become a soulless vessel for a killer. And even now he still doesn't get to express these emotions as he doesn't know how to anymore his emotions have now been corrupted. All he can do is fake a smile here and there instead of showing how he truly feels.

His coat was slightly heavy especially for someone like me. I am a little weak too.

"I'm sorry for crying in front of you like this forgetting about your situation Dazai..."

Dazai's hair covered his eyes for a slight moment until his face was fully visible again. "You don't need to be sorry [Y/N]. Embrace how you feel that's the only way you'll feel better. And I know that I shouldn't say this but..." he reached out to the coat and moved the hood away which hid my face. "I love seeing your humanity [Y/N]. And don't feel anxious about your shaking hands. That's so human. You probably thought about how vulnerable you look. You know that if I were an executive I would say that you are correct to think in such a way. But I am no longer an executive of the mafia and now I could finally tell you the truth rather than a manipulative lie. Your vulnerability is alluring [Y/N]. Those exposed emotions which signify that you're not a skeleton of a human with the same dead expression. You're alive."

My salty tears began to rush in and flood my whole face but now they seemed to drip like a waterfall. Dazai's words surrounded my waterfall with a rainbow. I see so many different colours. Each colour represented an emotion. Which one am I meant to feel? I wasn't sure but what I was definitely sure of was that crying felt good. It felt like medicine. Felt like a drug which made me feel high and happy.

"Well then shall we go to yours [Y/N]?" he placed his hand on my back to get me to shift my body forward.

"Ye...yes" I continued to sob but now I was sobbing because I wanted too. We slowly started to walk away leaving the railings and the bright yellow danger sign. Bright lights surrounded us from every corner. Bright yellow lamps brightened the Ferris wheel. My vision was blurry but I could still make out those warm colours.

"How pretty isn't it [Y/N]?"

I began to rub away my salty tears as I replied back to Dazai "It really is...I love being here at night although I'm normally alone here"

"Well you're not alone tonight" he smiled in a friendly way as he walked beside me only a few inches away.