BidenWasTaken 31

Prologue: Initiation

"Here is the cashier and accountant of this fine store, Dave!" Biden gestured towards the young man still having a crisis at the register.

     Dave looked up at the pair. "Where the fork am I?"

     "So is he like a reference to something or...?" asked Dream.

     "Oh, no one knows." The president tapped Dave on the head, and the young cashier's face of confusion dropped away immediately.

     "Great. So what do I do here?"

"You are in charge of scooping the ice cream. Don't fuck it up loser." Biden turned to leave, when-

"Wait!" Dream cried, his obsidian- hued orbs not filling with tears because the word cry has several different meanings, "One more question. Before you leave." the Gamer's heart and lungs ached at the thought of the older man stepping away from his presence. Either that or he was having a heart attack. Who knows.

"Ask away, Scooper."

"So is this like coffee shop au or-" Joe slammed the door. Dream was alone.

"Hey, Dream?" The ice cream scooper turned as gracefully as a ballerina on a floor made up of sixteen pixels per square meter.

"What is it, Save? Save? Dave. Did I make a typo while talking? Whag is going on?"

"Ywa that just happens. So did you have a chance to go through training?"

"Dude I just got here like three minutes ago."

"Okay good." Dave returned to gazing intently at the cash register.

Out of nowhere, a young woman appeared. "Who are you?" Dream asked.

"Oh, this place didn't pass the Bechtel test, so corporate sent her in." Dave explained explainatively. He turned to the new hire. "Hi, your job is to sit in the back and watch Netflix on your phone."

"Sweet," she said, and strided towards the employee room. Dave went blank, and he coughed up a metal object with a minuscule piece of paper taped to it. The paper read:

YO,
SINCE THE THREE OF YOU ARE NEW (OR AT LEAST THINK YOU ARE), I PUT A THING IN DAVE TO MAKE HIM MORE HELPFUL. IF YOU'RE READING THIS, HOWEVER, THAT MEANS IT'S GONE AND HE'S CONFUSED AGAIN. RIP.
-JB <3

     "That seems like a shoddy excuse for blatant mischaracterization," Dream said.

     Dave opened his mouth, either to reply or to cough up more convenient plot devices, when someone walked through the door.