Yours To Claim

Chapter 1

"EXO Kai and Blackpink Jennie is dating." 

A sudden pain and hurt erupted in my heart. Halos gusto ko ng ibato ang cellphone ko dahil sa balitang nabasa ko. Isang malalim na hininga ang pinakawalan ko. 

Relax Lisa, wala pang confirmation, hindi ka maniniwala kung hindi sa kanya galing. You know how mess up the Entertainment business is.

Sa kabila ng pagrarason ko sa isip ko, nararamdaman ko pa rin ang sakit. Lalo na at naaalala ko yung mga paguusap namin ng mga nakalipas na araw, she is busy I know that but the way she is for a few days now is not her normal "busy" it like "I am avoiding you busy" and that makes this news much more believable.

She will not do this to you, she will not hurt you. 

I repeat that like a mantra, until I believe it.

 

That's when I get up on the bed and get ready. I have a few more things that I need to finish. I'm already at my car and driving to go to the Company. My phone suddenly ring.

I check it and as I expected it is Jennie. I immediately put a smile in my face and answer the call.

 

"Hi Nini!" I happily greeted her.

"Where are you?" She asks, smiling. but I know that smile it is her nervous smile.

"Office. I have a lot of papers." I said pouting.

She chuckles, "It's okay. You can do it." she said gently.

Then her smile falter and she look at me intently, as if trying to search for something.

My heart is beating faster, I know she knows that I know.

"What?" I ask her.

She then sighs. "I'm sorry."

My heart shutter a million times but I made sure that it is not showing in my face. Instead, I tilt my head at the side.

"What for?" I ask. Pretending that I am hurting.

She looks at me intently, then she smiles. Her true smile.

"Nothing. I'll go now. Take care okay." 

"Yep. Take care." 

She then ends the call. My smile falter and I look at my phone blankly. I pulled over and heave a breath, I bite my lips in order to prevent myself in breaking down. I don't need her to say that yes, she is dating that guy, I know she really is, after all she already said sorry.

 

After a few moments, I calm myself down and went to my office, and start to act as if my world is not crumbling.

Nakakatawang isipin na hindi naman ako artista pero parang araw araw na lang kailangan kong umarte na okay ako.

This is exactly what I am afraid of, they might think that at the end of the day Jennie Kim is mine, but I know that it is not true. Paano naman sya magiging akin kung ang tanging commitment namin ay ang arrangement na ginawa ng mga magulang namin? Kaya alam kong kahit na simula pa lang nung una naka arrange na si Jennie sakin dadating ang panahon na makakakilala sya ng para sa kanya, yung taong magiging boyfriend nya dahil gusto nya at hindi dahil napilitan lang sya. At ayos lang sakin yun, dahil yun ang gusto ko.

I want her to get everything she dream of and everything she wish for. I want her to experience being in a relationship with someone kahit hindi ako yun.

Because I am crazy in love with Jennie Ruby Jane Kim, and if I have to sacrifice my heart for her happiness, I will do it in a heartbeat.

After all my meetings in with the clients and some term paper that I pass to my professor, I went to my private dance studio. I change my attire and do some stretching. Once I'm ready I turn on the music and immerse myself in dancing.

Dancing and music have always been my passion. I always compose, produce or dance whenever I have these overwhelming feelings. Kapag sobrang sakit na, kapag hindi ko na kaya, kapag hindi ko na kayang itago sa likod ng mga ngiti ko ang nararamdaman ko.

People think that I am friendly, since pag nasa labas ako napapaligiran ako lagi ng mga tao, they said I always have this positive aura and I always look happy. They don’t know that darkness that I am hiding behind my smile, they don’t know the negativity, uncertainty and low confidence that my positivity is trapping. They don’t know about my demon.

These emotions that I can only express through music and dancing.

These feelings that only Jennie can see through.

Jennie Kim knows me well, the same way that I know her.

A sudden ring snaps me out of my thoughts. Automatic na tumigil ako sa pagsasayaw. Dun ko narealize ang mga luhang tumutulo sa mga mata ko. Pag tingin ko sa salamin ng studio, isang tanong ang biglang sumagi sa isip ko. Sino ka? Dahil ang mukhang nakikita ko sa salamin ay iba sa nakasanayan ko. Parehas na mukha pero ang mga mata ko ay iba. Dahil ngayon ang nakikita ko na lang sa mga mata ko ay lungkot, pagod, sakit, at pag suko.

I heard another ring; I get my phone and check who is calling.

Mommy Kim is calling

Pagkasagot ko, isang nagaalalang boses ang narinig ko.

“Hello Lisa?”

“Hi Tita.” I said, I flinch because of how raw my voice sound is.

“Are you okay? Have you seen the news?”

Naalala ko nanaman ang sakit at ilang segundo din ang lumipas bago ako nakasagot.

“Yes, I’ve seen it, but I’m okay Tita. Katatapos ko lang sumayaw kaya medyo dry ang lalamunan ko.” I made sure na walang kahit nong traces ng sakit ang boses ko.

“I see. I'm sorry Lisa. Nagulat din ako sa nabasa ko.” she said, and I know that she really didn’t know about it.

Ilang segundong tahimik sa linya hangang sa nagsalita na ulit si Tita.

“Lisa. Go back here in Korea. Go and get back what is yours.”