Anti-Stall

Dolphins and Pigs

São Paulo, Brazil

It was Sunday already, the once I was dying to tell him how I felt about him he didn't have time. I needed to get it off my chest so bad.

I wish I could scream it all into the universe and hope he'd hear all of it, sadly the world doesn't work like that. So instead I decided to beg to the universe, let me tell him how I feel.

I got to the track early with the two of them and threw myself into work, hoping that thoughts of him would go away for a while. It did work for a bit, until Becky and Elena started talking about how we were literally just one weekend away from the end.

I didn't want that, I didn't want that to be the end for me, the end for us. I didn't want to think about it, I couldn't see myself working anywhere else. I wanted to be here, I wanted to be at the paddock, near the people I love, hearing my new favourite sound; The roars of the engines.

"Hey Nat!" Becky called me.

"Yeah?"

"Come help me."

"What are you doing?" I walked to where she was.

"Your favourite!" She beamed holding up flowers.

"FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS!" I squealed.

We got to work, making neat bouquets, testing different colour schemes and finally settling on one. I placed the bouquets in small vases and went around placing them at ideal spots.

"Look at her go!" His voice teased me.

I looked up to see him, standing at the entrance with a big smile on his face. I hate to admit it, but this smile was slowly becoming my favourite.

"Get to your garage! Go do your work, you're not being paid to stand around!" I teased him.

"Hey! That's my line!" We heard Tim holler from inside the unit.

"What are you doing?"

"Arranging flowers, it's my favourite task." I smiled placing a vase down.

"Quite a bright and sunny task for someone who's a sarcastic ass-"

"To you." I smiled, "See, I'm always smiling."

"When are you flying to Dubai?"

"Before that you tell me when you're free." I asked him.

I really needed to get it off my chest, he was my person and I needed to tell him that. If he didn't feel so I would respect it, I'd be hurt probably crushed but he'll always be my guy.

"Well I'm not free until the end of the season as of now." He laughed.

"Why'd you ask about when I'm flying to Dubai?"

"So I could brag about how early I'm going." He smirked.

"Why are you in such a hurry? You realise it's the last race then? The sooner you go, it feels like the sooner the season comes to an end."

"I can't wait to race under lights, one last time with the fireworks and hitting reset."

"But then, it comes to an end. It's all over."

"For now! And then you start again in a while." He smiled.

"For you." I sighed.

"What are you saying-"

"Arthur get your butt to the garage!" Charles yelled walking towards him.

"I have to go for now but I need to know what you meant." He added before leaving.

Well great, I didn't want to explain the whole situation to him over text! People started showing up and I got absorbed in work, I didn't even have time to see the race or it's results.

I had a smile on my face and it never left, the world felt ten times brighter and everything seemed so beautiful. It felt like I had a new clarity of this world all of a sudden.

The weekend was over and I headed home, for a week before possibly my last weekend at the paddock. As usual pops was at the airport, waiting there for me.

"Kiddo, you've got to get over your fear of driving and retake your driving test."

"No! Not yet. Besides if I find a job in the city itself I can use the trusty undergrounds."

"Why are you saying that? You're going to land your job at hospitality!"

"What if I don't pops? I feel like I leave way too many expectations for the future." I sighed.

"What have you thought of? If you don't secure the spot?"

"I can apply to Silverstone for a track side job, I saw read about openings of different posts at the new hotel in town and if that doesn't work-"

"So many back up options ! You're going to forget about your goal! Having back up options is great but not to the point it confuses you."

"I only started this internship because of you, I only got this place thanks to you, I can't possibly be a bigger burden-"

"You are my child. Not a burden! Speaking of them, we're here get your suitcases out of the boot." Pops backed the car into the parking.

Mom was at the door, looking exhausted from her own trip. I gave her a big hug and we walked into the house, pops made us his "jet-lag fixing potion" he found on the Internet.

We drank it, I felt so sleepy and drowsy after it. I crashed for 12 hours, no one decided to bother me either.

I woke up to lots of work emails and messages, one name in particular gave me butterflies. I decided to save the best for the last and got to work, I answered emails, filled applications to my possible jobs.

It pained me just thinking about how I might not get to do all of this ever again, the idea of visiting the paddock as an outsider didn't sit right with me anymore.

To distract myself, I finally decided to see what he had sent me. "Good morning Ma puce, this reminds me of you laughing and crying." Right below of it was a video, of a pig snorting away.

I called him up, only to say one thing and maybe because I wished his voice but was too stubborn to say it. You have taken over my mind and if I don't have you, I don't know what I'll do.

"You sound like a dolphin when you laugh, have great day Arturito bye-"

"Did you really call me up to say that?" He laughed.

Well, no but when the moment arrived, I didn't have the guts to tell him I loved him. "Yeah, that'll be it."

"So what are your plans for the day?" He asked.

"I got done with work, Pops is going to give me driving lessons-"

"What?"

"Pops, my father is going to teach me how to drive."

"You don't know how to drive?" He laughed.

"Don't laugh at me! I failed my driver's test and then I decided to never do it again."

"You work with people who drive fast cars for a living and you can't drive!" He laughed even louder.

"Stop! It's an essential life skill and I don't have it, I feel terrible."

" Hopefully you'll learn it soon."

I heard Pops call for me, I told Arthur that I had to go and ended the call. I was pretty sure that today either pops or I was going to come back home crying and traumatized from this experience.