Anti-Stall

Breathe

London, England

I walked back home, feeling relieved but wounded at the same time. I wanted to dissolve into my mattress and not speak to anyone. This was draining, taxing and painful.

Why do I even hurt at this point? I wanted to scream, yell, throw a fit if I could. What's the point? He was deaf to my cries now. This wasn't worth my tears, we were still going to be friends right?

I plopped on the couch, hoping to find some random content to watch. Mom heard the TV and walked into the living room, with a bowl full of chips.

"What's with the frown kiddo?"

"He doesn't trust me, I can kiss him goodbye." I sighed, "Oh yeah! That's the funny part, I can't."

"I know you're hurting, but see it as a blessing! It broke off before you could get anymore invested!"

"Yeah mom, I think the investment had already reached its max."

"I can't see my child hurting like this, is there anything I can do?"

"You're a very precious human mom! I don't think there's anything you can do. I love you." I gave her a kiss on the cheek.

My phone rang again, it was Arthur. It had completely slipped my mind that he had called.

"Hello?"

"Hey Arthur."

"That sounded dull, who are you and what have you done to Ma Puce?"

"Oh Nat? She's dead, can't come to the phone right now." I joked.

"Very funny, what are you up to?"

"Wasting my afternoon, then my evening and then going to sleep."

"So that means you're doing nothing?"

"Hmmm....No shit Sherlock!"

"Alright, there's no need to get so mean! Come waste time with me, with us."

"Us as in?"

"Callum, Mick and I. George and Lando were supposed to be here too but Lando just called and said that he won't be coming."

I felt a sharp pain, almost like someone was twisting my heart. He was hurting just as much as I was and we still couldn't help it.

"What are you doing?"

"We're at a golf club, we finished playing and now we're fooling around."

"Golf club?" I asked, I could see my mom in the corner of my eye, she looked very interested.

"Yeah! It's the same one we invited you and Erica to a while ago."

"Ay yeah! It's a nice place."

"Will you come?"

I was in two minds, one wanted to get over what had happened and the other wanted to mope around. My mom on the other hand looked very pushy and was prompting me to answer yes, after a lot of reluctance I said yes.

Great! Now I had to get dressed and look like a functioning member of the society. As hard as I tried, I didn't have the energy to smile.

I looked for taxis and actually considered not going. Giving Arthur the excuse that I have no means to get to the club, nor was I going to ask my mom for a ride. Being the person he is, I knew he would offer picking me up.

After much pain, I managed to find a taxi willing to take me to the place. The afternoon sun was disappearing behind clouds, much like my mood turning grey.