The Day Before We Met

Me, Myself, and I

"I'm getting attached to her." I sat in front of Keenan while Hannah was with Zander and Ajax upon both Keenan's and my request. I needed to talk to her one on one by ourselves.

"What's wrong with that?" Keenan tilted her head to the side.

"What happens after her tour? We will never see her again." My voice nearly cracked from saying the thought out loud. Ever since Hannah mentioned it a few days ago, it's been eating at my subconscious.

"We aren't always working." She sat beside me.

"Our team literally picks up extra missions when we are bored. We are almost always working." I glanced over at her.

Keenan took a deep breath. "You would still be able to see her, Alex. We need to slow down with the missions anyways. The war is lightening up more and more everyday. Every mission we take is another gamble."

"We can't slow down until the war is over." I dismissed her idea immediately. "We were raised and built to know that."

"Alex, the war has been going on for a century. The tension and hatred will always be there. We have done so much damage that the Marians are retreating from our planet. We have total control over our moon now." Keenan spoke in a calm tone.

"I just- I don't want to let anyone down." I put my head in my hands.

"The only person you are letting down is yourself. You can't put the whole world on your shoulders. We would still take missions, but not as frequently. Our pressure would still be on." She had an answer for everything.

I furrowed my eyebrows once the realization hit. "You've talked to Ajax about this."

Keenan stayed quiet.

"Woah woah woah, we make all decisions as a team. Not behind each other's backs." I stood up from the couch.

"We knew you wouldn't be willing to so we had to talk about it without you. I'm sorry." Keenan sighed.

"Zander knows too." I whispered.

"And admiral." She nodded. "The plan is already set in motion, so we will have one major mission a month like the other teams once the tour is over."

"How could you do this behind my back? We have never made a decision without everyone being on board." I took a step back. "We established that pact as kids. We established that everything we did would be as one. We knew that we were being raised as weapons and nothing more than that, and we were okay with it. Now you are changing that? All of the work we put into being what we are, you want to throw away?"

"I'm sorry, Alex. It's for your own good. It's for all of us. We all need to slow down." She stood up and tried to step closer to me. "We can't keep doing this to ourselves. We are human. We are not weapons like you think. Admiral thinks we should too. Everyone knows we need to slow down. Especially you."

"No, don't. Maybe you three need to slow down, but I will never stop fighting. If you want to make major decisions without me, you can fight without me. You can babysit without me." I took off off of the bus and ran at full speed to the nearest base.

"Involuntary lockup risk if you continue. Do you wish to take that risk?" My system went off. Fucking Admiral and his tricks.

"Take the risk and fight it as much as you can." I huffed and found the nearest car.

I broke the widow and opened the door.

"Coms from Falcon Team."

"Dismiss them." I grumbled and turned the car on with my charged palm.

"Emergency coms are being put through."

"Alex, get your ass back here. That is an order." Ajax growled at me.

"I no longer take orders from you. If you want to make major, life changing decisions without me, be a team without me. I obviously have different interests." Tears threatened to escape. "Goodbye Ajax. I drop my position on the Falcon Team."

I put the pedal to the metal to the nearest base, weaving in and out of traffic, as I cried for the first time in my life.

I've never been more betrayed in my life. I have been physically broken, bruised, and shattered, but never mentally, and I think that's why it's hitting as hard as it is.

"Coms to Admiral." I choked out.

"Alex, get your ass back to your team." Admiral was pissed.

"They are no longer my team. I dropped my position. Give me a mission. I'm on my way to the nearest base that has shuttles." I sniffled and tried to make myself go cold. "Have an injection ready for me when I get there."

"Alex I-"

"It is my decision. I have the control over the choices and actions I have made thus far. Give me a mission." I growled and cut him off.

Admiral stayed quiet for a second. "Your mission briefing will be ready upon arrival and your injection will be waiting for you as well as long as you can self administer it."

"Perfect. Cut the coms."

The coms dropped and I closed in on the base.

"Coms from Sentinel Keenan."

"Dismiss it." I blinked my tears away.

"Coms from Sentinel Keenan."

"Block her coms permanently." I shook my head quickly as they let me through the gates.

"Sentinel, your vitals are abnormally high."

"I'm fine. Just do your job." I followed the signs to the hanger and parked the car just outside of it.

"Sentinel." The nearby soldiers saluted me before returning to their tasks.

"Emergency coms from Sentinel Zander."

"Alex, wait. Just wait." Zander sighed, but seemed much calmer than Ajax and Keenan.

"What Zander?" I followed the soldier leading me to my shuttle where my injection and mission details were waiting for me.

"Hannah wants to talk to you." Zander rushed out once he realized I didn't cut the coms immediately.

"Tell her I am sorry, but she will never see me again. If any of you do, act like you don't. You three did this. I hope you're happy. Goodbye Zander." I cut the coms of my last sibling and rushed over to the injection.

I picked up the syringe after shedding my thigh guard and jamming it into my muscle.

"Fuck!" I yelled out at the top of my lungs and pushed the thick green liquid through the syringe as fast as possible before yanking it out of my leg and tossing it away from the shuttle before putting my armor back on my thigh and walking to the copilot seat.

"Ready to go, Sentinel Black?" The pilot asked me politely as my injection started to kick in.

"Absolutely. Where is my mission briefing?" I clipped my harness in place, but only until we get out of atmosphere.

The pilot handed me a tablet before prepping for takeoff.

High value target in the Marian headquarters. Eliminate him. Go in quiet. Go out quiet. Pickup will be on the roof fifteen minutes post-landing.

A picture of the target was available and I let my visor scan and memorize it before putting the tablet into a cubby.

"Takeoff in five, four, three, two, one." The pilot shot us up through the tunnel and into the atmosphere.

No more feelings. No more family. No more anything.

Only me, myself, and I.

Just the way it should've been from day one.