The Day Before We Met

How?

"How did he slip through the cracks? How did any of them?" Ajax asked our team while Hannah slept in her bunk.

"The first one worked there. I don't know if they knew his intentions or not, but he got there before we did this morning. I don't know about the other three." I rested my head on the wall behind me. I'd kill for a shower right now, but I won't let Hannah see me. I'll have to wait till the tour is over I guess, though that is disgusting.

"The other three had slipped in the night before and stayed in an air vent over night. I watched the security footage." Keenan clipped her nails over a trashcan. We have to keep our nails short or the gloves will dig into them.

"We have to sweep the entire building before we bring Hannah in from now on. A hour before Hannah goes in, two of us needs to sweep the building while two of us stay with her." Ajax looked to Zander and Keenan. "You two will sweep. I need you here with me, Alex."

"I just want to kill another Marian! Why can't I go in?" I whisper yelled. I was fed up with not being able to be out and about killing. Instead I was babysitting.

Ajax ignored me initially, but when I crossed my arms over my chest and huffed he looked at me. "I said I need you here, so I need you here. Got it?"

I rolled my eyes and kept quiet.

"Now that that is settled, I'm going to bed." Zander cleared his throat and got up off of the couch beside me.

"You have to shower, Alex. It's been too long. I also need to run diagnostics on your suit and refill the supplements. It's the weekly checkup. I'd rather do it daily, but at least once a week." Keenan walked over to my pod that would take my armor off for me.

"You can run the diagnostics while I'm wearing it. You've done it before during our longer missions. I don't need to shower either. After this is done I will. I'm not risking anyone other than you three seeing me." I tried to relax, but they wouldn't let me.

"The only time I run diagnostics while you are wearing it is if you absolutely cannot take off your suit." Keenan tried to put her foot down with me.

"I'm not taking it off unless someone wants to watch Hannah in the back of the bus while I quickly shower and Keenan runs diagnostics on my gear." I tried to meet them in the middle.

"Ajax, make sure Hannah doesn't come to the front if she gets up from her bunk." Keenan nodded to the hallway that leads to the bunks and mini room for Hannah to have her own space.

Ajax pushed off of the wall with a relieved sigh. "Thank god she has stopped being stubborn."

"Gear off. I'll get you new clothes while you're in the pod." Keenan opened my pod for me and I got up off of the couch and stepped in.

My gear was taken off piece by piece before opening back up. I immediately stretched once I got out. Yes, I can stretch while I'm in my gear, but it hits different when you first stretch after getting out of your gear for the first time in days.

"You have fifteen minutes max to shower. The water heater is small." Keenan handed me a new set of military issued clothes.

I nodded my head and walked into the compact bathroom that had clean towels above the sink.

One perk of being genetically modified is that you don't grow body hair. Only head hair. You have the option to get it modified once you turn ten, and almost everyone got it. You sweat more with body hair, so even the guys got it. We also don't get itchy. They learned that they'd have to do that or we'd keep taking our gear off to scratch an itch.

My thoughts traveled back and forth between Hannah and my want to get the injection as I got cleaned up. The strange feeling that I got when she hugged me made all of those negative feelings away, but a few seconds after she let go the feelings resumed their attacks on my mind.

I am a machine for disposal. I'm not human to the military. I'm a weapon. One of the most lethal weapons. My fuse is shorter than my pinky finger.

"Two minutes before the water gets ice cold." Keenan warned me from the other side of the door.

I went ahead and turned the water off. I wasn't doing anything at that point. I was just loathing in self pity.

After I got dried off and clothed, I went straight back to my pod to get my suit put back on.

"Diagnostics are still running. Ajax said Hannah is on her phone in the back of the bus if you want to take a bunk for the night. It wouldn't hurt you to sleep without your suit on tonight." Keenan stopped me from stepping into my capsule.

"Why are the diagnostics taking so long?" I turned to her and furrowed my eyebrows.

"Your unpredictable emotions are making your pulse readings go crazy, which is making your suit work harder than usual for that. Not to mention your blood pressure spikes. An injection wouldn't do you any good right now. It would make it worse." Keenan looked at her monitor. "Go get some rest. You didn't sleep last night."

"But-" I went to protest, but Keenan gave me a look and I stopped all further protest.

"Top bunk on the right is open. I know you don't need much sleep, but in case we can't get any for the next few days, you need to while we can. Zander is in the one under you." Keenan nodded her head to the hallway.

I sighed and gave in.

My hands gripped the door and I tried to be gently so I didn't break the damn thing. I jumped into the top bunk, and pulled the privacy curtain closed.

My thoughts went back to Hannah and the hug she gave me. It was such a small action that added these unfamiliar emotions.

Not to mention how I have never comforted someone before in my entire life, and holding her hands to my chest was so natural for me as if I'd done it everyday.

How can one person, one random person, make my brain do what it is doing? How can she make me restless when I can go right to sleep after killing dozens of people with my bare hands in a matter of minutes?

How would I even go about stopping it? How do I even know if I want it to stop?