warnings: death, depression
it had been two weeks since the war had ended. two weeks since many lives were freed. two weeks since many lives were lost.
two weeks since draco had lost the love of his life.
draco blamed himself for everything. every second of the past fourteen days draco thought about the moment the life left your body. he wasn't there to see you pass, so he created scenarios in his mind to fit what he thought had happened. he would imagine you running down the corridors dueling a death-eater that was following you. he would think about rubble from the castle falling down onto you- suffocating you. it physically hurt draco to imagine these things, but he didn't know what to do. he wasn't there to protect you. he thought that he could've saved you.
you were the light of draco's life, and now that you were gone, he was consumed by darkness. everywhere he looked something reminded him of you. he couldn't even stay in his own room because of the nights you had spent with him there. every time he glanced over his emerald bed sheets he recalled the nights that the two of you would stay awake talking about the future you both wanted to live- together. he couldn't bare to open the books scattered across his shelves because you would write notes to him so he could find them when he was reading. all of the pictures the two of you had taken were turned over so he couldn't look at them. he had moving pictures that captured the two of you in your happiest moments, and every time he looked at them his heart tore into a thousand more pieces.
he shut everyone out as well. his best friends, his mother, and people that wanted to offer him their condolences. he was a wreck. he barely even looked himself. he had become thinner because he had no appetite. the dark circles underneath his eyes contrasted with his almost paper white skin. he couldn't bring himself to look in the mirror. he hated himself for not being there when you needed him most and every time he looked into the mirror he saw a failure.
it was now the fifteenth day at 5:02 a.m. and draco was lying on his bathroom floor in the pitch black, staring up at the ceiling. he didn't know how long he had been there, or even how he got there, but he didn't care. he had been crying and cursing himself, which had become a part of his daily routine, but he was now too drained to do such. memories of draco and you played out in his mind, hurting him even more, but he couldn't shut his mind away from you. you were draco's everything since his first year at hogwarts. he didn't care to remember his life before he had you, so the only memories he could think of were you.
a loud tapping drew draco away from his thoughts. he considered getting up to see what the source of the noise was, but ultimately decided to stay in his position. the noise, however, didn't stop. he began to grow annoyed, so begrudgingly draco rolled out of his position and walked towards the noise. for a split second he considered going to find his wand for some sort of protection just incase, but those thoughts soon disappeared as he thought that you may not of had your wand when you died, so why should he?
the noise was its loudest in draco's bedroom outside of his window. hesitantly, draco walked over to it and opened it. prepared for the worst, draco closed his eyes and held his breath, but was soon relieved to see an owl holding a letter in its talons. he delicately grabbed the letter and shut his window. just as draco was about to throw the letter into the pile of other "i'm sorry for your loss" letters people have sent him something caught his eye. on the front of envelope draco was holding was your handwriting. draco instantly sat on the edge of his bed to examine the envelope.
draco's heart rate sped up to a pace he didn't think was possible. draco began to tear the envelope off of the letter inside. his eyes were immediately glued to the paper.
"dear draco,
if you're reading this, that means that i am now gone and not with you anymore. i wrote this note just incase something were to happen to me after the war. now, you may be wondering how this was sent to you. i had given this note to blaise and asked him to send it your way just before the war had begun.
