1464 words
WARNINGS: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS
there is always someone you can talk to if you are feeling down about anything. no problem is too small
national suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255
help is always available. this world is a better place with you in it<3
draco's pov
never even in my wildest dreams did i think that i would be put up to such foul things. i knew what i was destined to do, but i pushed the thought down every chance i could. hogwarts is my escape. i can proudly call the school of witchcraft and wizardry home. i felt safer there than i ever could. i didn't have to face my coldhearted father when i was at school. he never showed me any affection. he wasn't really a true father, he didn't earn that title. i see the way that the weasley's father looks at his children on the platform of 9¾. he does so with love. my father doesn't even bother to show. but, now he's given me a task to complete. completing this task would mean that he would finally be proud of me. the first time my father showed me even the slightest bit of love was when i received the mark. i finally felt wanted by him. although, the task he had forced me into me was truly something i could not do, but if i didn't i would be killed.
i'm at a crossroads now, either make my father proud, or ruin the lives of everyone around me. quite frankly i didn't want to do either. on the train at the start of this year i had told blaise that i'd rather pitch myself off the astronomy tower than continue at hogwarts for the next two years. a part of me truly meant it. if my purpose in life was to start a war between the people i truly love and the people that i have to love, what is the point of living.
i went through the days leading up to my task feeling like a robot. i didn't smile anymore, i didn't want to talk to anyone, i just had no motivation. i felt like an impostor in my own school. i tried my best to lay low and keep any and all suspicions off of me, but it didn't work. many people came up to me to ask if i was okay, i lied and said yes obviously, but that wasn't true. i just want someone to feel proud of me, someone to love me. i didn't want to be in the halls of hogwarts anymore. hell, i didn't want to be here anymore.
i made my way up to the one place where i could clear my mind. the astronomy tower.
as i stared off into the night at the top of the tower, gazing over the beautiful land that looked like it was molded delicately by the hands of a higher being, all of the thoughts i had bottled up inside of my head raced. i felt like there was no solution to my problems, so i came to a conclusion. i wasn't going to do either. i was going to rid myself from the world. it was all to much to handle and i just didn't want to handle it anymore. i found myself sitting on the ledge to the tower, my feet dangling off the ledge.
"please give me a sign, please." i didn't know who i was talking to, i just wanted to know if there was any reason to stay. deep down i wanted someone to pull me out. i think secretly i knew that this wasn't the way out, i knew it wasn't the solution. thoughts of my mother's face when she'd get the news crossed my mind, but that was only for a split second until i looked down at my arm that was gripping the railing tightly. i saw the mark and then remembered what i was. a deatheater, someone who feeds off death. that wasn't who i was. i was ready to give up.
y/n's pov
i had some last minute homework to catch up on and all of the normal quiet places weren't so quiet. my house was having some sort of get together, which means the common room was taken over and i'd be able to hear the ruckus of the party from my dorm room. the library was closed as well, something about seamus finnigan doing a spell that went wrong? i'm not sure. the last place i had in mind was the astronomy tower. i made my way there, with all my books in hand. i went there quite often. it was peaceful and it allowed me to be at one with my thoughts.
i carried myself up the long set of staircases. i was a few steps from the top when i heard what sounded like crying. i furrowed my brows and made my way up the last couple steps when i saw the source the noise.
"please give me a sign, please." a boy who was sitting on the rails said. it was draco malfoy. a sign? what kind of sign was he talking about? he began to shift from the position he was in and it finally hit me what the platinum haired boy was doing.
"no." i whispered out. i dropped my books, not caring what happened to them and ran over to him. i wrapped my arms tightly around his torso to prevent him from jumping. i felt him stiffen against my touch.
"let me go!" he yelled out writhing in my arms trying to break free, but i wasn't about to let that happen. i tightened my grip around his torso and began to walk backwards. obviously, the boy was a lot larger and stronger than i was and i wasn't going to be able to pull him up just on my own, so i needed him to work with me.
"draco, this isn't the answer!" i said tugging back with him still in my arms. "c'mon you can talk to me, i promise i'll listen. i'll help you."
"i have nothing to live for, i have nothing left." he says still putting up a fight.
"then make something worth living for!" i say, now crying myself. no matter who someone is they should never feel this way about themselves. there is always someone who loves them.
draco then slows his fight down. he is still shaking crazily, but a lot less. his breath is unsteady and tears are still uncontrollably falling from his puffy eyes. he then leans back onto my chest and places his hands back on the railing.
"that's it." i say helping him push himself back to the same side if the railing i'm on. once he is finally over and safe, he collapses to the ground. he is laying on his stomach with his face buried in hands, sobbing and shaking. i bend down so i am sitting on the ground with him. i lean my back up against the wall and take his head into my hands and place it into my lap. i bring my hands down to his hair and run them through it. when i was little and shaken up, my mother did the same and it helped calm me down tremendously, it was the only thing i could think to do in this situation.
narrator's pov
"i'm proud of you." y/n breathes out. those words felt like a blessing to draco. he had never felt like someone would ever say those words to him. for the first time tonight draco looked in to your eyes. they were bloodshot and puffy, but nonetheless still bright and beautiful.
"thank you, y/n. for everything." draco croaks out. she smiled sweetly down at him and nodded her head. from the fight that draco had just fought with his own mind and the physical one against your grip, he grew tired. his eyes fluttered shut and eventually yours did too. you both fell asleep just until the sun came up and for hours you both talked about the struggles that draco was facing and you promised him that you'd always be there to help him.
y/n was his sign. it was almost like she was meant to save his life, and draco didn't want her to just slip away after. draco made himself a better person for y/n. he didn't follow through with dumbledore's murder. he fought on the side he was always destined to, with the students of hogwarts. during the war he stayed with y/n, never letting her out of his sight because he wasn't going to let anyone near his angel. after the war they both lead beautiful lives, together.
