There he was... that fat fuck talking to my one and only, my precious, my lover, my Butters. I dashed for bushes, sliding on my knees and placing myself close enough to be able to read Cartman's lips. He babbled on about what I could only assume is his own self misery. But alas, my worst fears came true. He began to blush, look away, and was soon in Butter's arms. My fucking Butters. He's dead! I'm fucking furious. But, Butters... how could you do this to me? I clothed you, embraced you, showered you with my love, affection and kisses. This is how you repay me? By cheating on me with this... this fat sack of shit? I... I... l-love you Butters... why? I gave you everything I had. Was it not enough? Was I lacking in expression? Did my disheveled appearance turn you away? I thought I was enough for you...
That's ok, I can fix that! Just like I did with Stan, Kyle, and Token. I'll just have to show you how much you love me! And how much I love you! We can finally stop having to worry about what other people will say or do!
A few moments pass before Butters leaves the park. But even now I still need to wait. If I kill him in broad daylight, I'm done for. And that means no Butters. But this fatass sat on that bench for 15 minutes! And there is no way I'll give him time to "make plans" with my darling. I have something that might do the trick. I leave my spot, away from the bush and back to the sidewalk as quietly as possible. Putting on my most inconspicuous face and stride, I act as if I had just arrived. "Hey! Eric!" I call out joyfully. "Oh... h-hey Kenny!" he was nervous, I could tell. Time to put on the McCormick charm. I approached him humbly, stopping only a few feet away from him. "Listen, man. I know I've been a real asshole. But frankly, I haven't been able to sleep ever since I hurt you. I just got defensive and it wasn't right for me to do something like that. I wanted to make it up to ya by inviting you out for some ice cream, whaddaya say?" a couple seconds pass while he considers his answer, but knowing him, he'd never say no to ice cream. "I-I feel the same way to... sure!" his face lightening up slightly, if only the fool knew what my true intentions were. I stuffed my numbed fingers into my pockets and kept a slow pace while we walked downtown. Five, maybe ten minutes pass before we arrived in the more quiet commercial oriented zone of South Park. I held his shoulder, bringing us both to a stop near an old auto body shop "Eric, hang on. There's a shortcut through this alley, I've been through here a few times." He hesitated, but I grabbed his hand and led him like a small child being dragged into time out. "Wa- wait shouldn't we sti- ack!" I threw him to the ground the moment we were out of sight around the corner. He hit the ground with a thud. Dived towards him, wrapping my hands around his thick neck with all of my weight on him. "-HU-CK BUTTERS NO!!!" His knee collided with my stomach and I was knocked off of him with a formidable amount of power. I reached for the nearest object, which happened to be an empty liquor bottle. And with as much force as a winded man could muster, I shattered it over the top of his head. "FUCK!!!" he screamed "SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!" He began to crawl away, but I got back on my feet. I tore a rotted plank of wood from an old pallet. And swung it. "THUD." The plank collided with his temple, making a hollow and meaty sound. Little to my knowledge, there had happened to be a rusted nail sticking from out of the plank, near the tip. It had pierced into Cartman's brain, causing his hands to seize before he fell limp. I seized myself, but differently. My hands freezing in place and my heart dropping. Footsteps were coming, and there was no hiding what I had done
