Jada POV
I sat back watching August and his boys torture Chance. I wanted no part in this, sounds crazy I know. I don't care if he dies, I don't care at all, shit as a lil girl that's all I wanted. I just know that what he did to me stays with me forever, and no amount of torturing can take back what he did to me, I can't rewrite the past, and it won't make me feel better.
I know what he did should make me want to do everything to kill him, but truthfully I didn't want to be anywhere near him. I didn't want to look him in the eyes, going back to that same scared little girl I was. This man was the only man that scared me, that truly could put fear in my heart.
I could never understand what would cause a grown ass man to be attracted to a young, shy, scared, little girl. I spent years afraid of men, hell I'm still afraid of older men. They creep me the fuck out. I know all men aren't Chance but he scarred me so bad that I will never see older men as just that. I only see them as rapist, predators, which is horrible but it's the truth.
Chance is the reason I don't do eye contact, when I was younger I was big on eye contact. Mama Marie always told me, it's showing respect, it's letting the person know you hear them, and you're paying attention.
After he raped me I never was the same, I became mute, I never made eye contact, I stayed up many nights alone and afraid that he'd come in my room and rape me again.
From ages 9-11 I was raped by him. I was too afraid to tell my mom, his threats were vile. Like I said he put true fear in my heart. I never slept in my bed, I slept in my closet every night for years. He killed my joy, my spirit, he took a piece of me that I'll never get back.
I tried committing suicide three times, and since I was mute, Mama Marie or any doctor couldn't figure out what was making me do it. Those nights in the hospital were the first few nights that I've honestly slept through the night without being scared.
He made me hate myself and the world that I live in. He made me hate mama Marie, even though it wasn't her fault, I hated her. I always blamed her for bringing him into our lives. I never wanted to be around either of them.
My grandmother was the first person I told. When Mama Marie dropped me off, that night was the first time I spoke again.
Mama Marie and Paul, the man that I thought was my father, their relationship was never great, they were on and off. So he never knew until after Mama Marie knew, by that time we never seen or heard from him again.
After they found out they really tried but were failing, Once Kayla came into the picture, they tried to take it more seriously but obviously it didn't work.
Seeing Kayla brought actual joy to me, something that was taken a long time ago. When I first seen Kayla, I smiled for the first time. Nobody knew but that was a big accomplishment for me. It was the first time I smiled in forever, and that is why Kayla is so damn important to me.
That day I vowed that I would protect her from all the bad in the world. I promised myself I'd never let her go through what I went through. I made sure of that and I kept my promise ever since.
"Bae." I snapped out of my thoughts seeing August standing next to me. "Where you been? I've been standing here calling ya name for 5 minutes." He chuckled slightly with a worrisome look. I cracked a smile looking straight ahead again seeing Chances lifeless body.
He face was so messed up. His skin had whelps all over, there was a huge gash from the side of his eye to the side of his mouth. His eyes were swollen shut, machete cuts covered his chest. His lip was busted, teeth on the floor, and three bullet holes, all in his chest.
The view was so graphic I wanted to throw up. I guess August sensed how uncomfortable I was and turned me around.
"It's all over baby." I nodded trying to keep myself from throwing up cause this shit was nasty. I know this kill was for August because of what Chance did to me and what he admitted to Chris about taking Anthony. I grabbed my things as August and his crew did the same.
"No more killing. This was enough for me. Thank you." I kissed him. I felt his hands grip my butt, I smirked.
"Whatchu wanna do about Miracle, Monica, and Tati?" I shook my head.
"They not smart enough to try this on they own. Especially how Miracle will be going back to show them my damage, it's highly doubted. So let's just let em go." He thought about it for a second like he was ready to argue it but nodded his head.
"Whatever you want mama. Now let's go so I can get back to my kids." I smiled wanting nothing more. I missed my babies.
"Don't you have a hosting tonight?" He nodded his head.
"It's gon run a lil over time so maybe about 2 in the morning. I'a probably just stay at a hotel." I looked at him weirdly.
"Why a hotel, ain't it here?"
"Nah it's in Savannah, so I know I'm not gonna feel like riding back after the club. Ima need some sleep." I nodded, it made sense tho. It was a three hour drive. I don't know why I thought it was here.
"Oh. Well let's go get these bad ass kids and get home. I'm tired." I leaned into his arms as he continued to drive.
It didn't take us long being that August drives fast as hell. We pulled up to Mama Sheila house and all the kids were on the front porch.
"Mommy!" Anthony ran full speed to me. I smiled meeting him halfway scooping him up. My favorite part of everyday was seeing his face. No matter what his little face made everything better!
"Hey Jada." I pulled Kayla into a hug squeezing her. "Can't...breathe.." I laughed letting her go.
"I suppose yah niggas don't see me right?" Anthony jumped down running to August. I shook my head walking in the house.
"Hey, everybody." I smiled waving at everyone in the kitchen. Everyone greeted me except for this girl that sat next to Mama Sheila.
I was going to speak to her but she mugged me so I just laughed it off, not really caring.
"I know that's not Jada I hear." I smiled turning around seeing Chandra.
"Bitch! I missed you." She pulled me in for a quick hug. I haven't seen Cha in like forever.
"Family!" I shook my head at his ghetto ass. Always telling. We stayed over here for a bit before we had to go home.
**home**
"I'll be back in the morning." I nodded. I heard him say goodbye to Kayla and Anthony, before leaving out.
"Mama!" I shook my head, loud just like his daddy. I walked into Anthony's room seeing him laid across his bed kicking his feet.
"What lil boy?" He sat up cupping his face in his hands. I just shook my head. He had way too much personality.
"You'ca tuck me in?" I nodded my head. I pushed the covers up over here, fixing his pillow making sure he was comfortable.
"All good?" He nodded.
"Mama sing." I laughed a little, laying beside him and started singing.
"Everything I do is for you
And I really do adore you
You're getting so big now
You're making me so proud 'cause
You are such a star
And, you know that you are
So, every single little moment
I can't be there to hold your hand
I need for you to know that
I need for you to know that
Anything should happen, anything should happen
'Cause anything could, if anything should happen
Know that you'll be alright, know that you'll be alright
Just promise you'll be alright, promise you'll be alright
If anything.." My overly emotional ass wiped my tears and kissed Anthony's forehead.
I slid out of the bed, checking Kayla's room before going back in my room soon falling asleep myself.
