Everlasting Love

Chapter One

"Come on...Answer....Pick up" "Welcome to the EE messaging service, please leave your message after the beep.... beeeeep" I hung up screaming out. God damn it Bone's! I dialled his number again... Voicemail again... "Bone's it's me. Please call me back. We need to talk..I'm... Oh Jesus, just phone me" I hung up throwing the phone on to the pillow sinking into the sofa hugging my knees to my chest crying. I picked up the picture of the scan. I picked up my phone again and hovered over his number. Clicking. *Are you sure you want to delete contact?* - Yes.

NEARLY FIVE YEARS LATER...

"Hey, there's my girl" I said smiling as Izzy came running through the door and straight to me. "Mummy!" Izzy shouted with tears streaming down her face, I fel to my knees opening my arms wide as she fell into me. "Hey, hey, sssh. It's okay. What's wrong?" She started talking but I couldn't understand a word with the crying and mumbling. "Ms Edwards?" I looked up as one of the nursery teachers had appeared beside us. "What's happened?" I continued to rub Izzy's back trying to soothe her. "Would you mind if we went into my office?" I tightened my grip on Izzy and picked her up following Mrs Blakemore through the door and down the hallway. "Come on sweetheart, ssssh" I kissed her cheek repeatedly. "Erm, actually. Izzy why don't you help Miss Walker set up the kitchen whilst Mummy and I talk". I placed Izzy down wiping her tears away and she walked hand in hand with Miss Walker as I followed Mrs Blakemore into her office. "What's happened?" I took a seat across from her dropping my bag to the floor. "This week we have been learning about different jobs and one of our new nursery teachers was enquiring with the children about what there parent's do for a living. Well Izzy was asked about her father and it upset her". "Ah". I nodded sitting back sighing. I knew I wouldn't be able to avoid the subject forever. I finished the conversation with Mrs Blakemore and collected Izzy and we headed home. I had managed to distract Izzy for the remainder of the afternoon by taking her to the park. Once we arrived home she went into her room to play and I started making dinner.

"Are you enjoying your pasta?" I asked watching her use her spoon to play with her food rather than eat it. "Why don't I have a Daddy?". I swalled a lump in my throat taking a sip of wine before answering. "You have a Daddy". "Then where is he?" I grabbed our bowls and placed them into the sink staring out the window above closing my eyes for a moment. "Mummy?!" "Go curl up on the sofa and I'll be over in a minute". I walked by her and went into my room and got on my hands and knees and looked under the bed. I pulled a box out and wiped the dust from it. Opening it I grabbed the top two photos and quickly closed it putting it back under the bed not wanting to look at the contents. It hurt too much. I headed back to the living room and climbed on to the sofa and we cuddled up. I wrapped my arm round Izzy and gave her both photos. "This is your Daddy". Her eyes looked to them as did mine. I remembered the moments when the photos were captured. The first photo of him in his combats when he had just come home from a tour looking so serious as he often did and the other of him not even realizing the photo was being taken. He was smiling in it, we were at a barbeque at his parent's. "He's handsome". I smiled hearing her first comment. "Yeah, he is". "What's he wearing?" Pointing to his army one. "He is a soldier in the British Army. Do you know what that means?" She shook her head looking from me back to the photo. "It means he protects us from bad people trying to do bad things". "Shoulder?" I laughed pulling her in for a big hug. I badly needed it. "No sold-jer" "Sold...jer" she repeated slowly a few times over making me giggle. She pulled away from our hug with big puppy dog eyes looking up to me. "Why isn't he here? Why doesn't he collect me from nursery like other people's Daddy's?" It was only then I realized how much of a clever girl she was becoming and she wasn't even five yet. "Daddy.... he... he left me". Her face puzzled, whilst mines filled with sadness remembering the moment when I learned he wasn't coming back to me. "Why did he leave us?" My attention quickly turned to Izzy. "No, he. He didn't leave us. He didn't leave you. He left me. He.. He doesn't know about you". It killed me telling Izzy this but I knew I would have to do it sooner rather than later. I started to cry. "Mummy, don't cry" She dived on top of me hugging me and I didn't let her go.

After bath time I tucked her up in bed. Sometimes rather a difficult task as it always took her forever of what stuffed animals to snuggle. "Why don't you keep these" I said placing the photos on her bedside. "We can get them framed if you like?" She nodded and looked at them again. "You have his eyes" She smiled looking at me. "What's his name?" "Alexander Robert McClyde, but he like's Bone's. A nickname the army gave him". She laughed at the name of Bone's. I kissed her on the head and stood up making my way to the door. "Mummy?" I looked to her all cute snuggled up. "I know what I want for my birthday. You said I could pick my present?" I nodded surprised at the change of topic. "And what's that sweetheart?" "I want to meet Daddy" and with those five words, she rolled over taking her teddy bear with her. I switched the light off. "I love you Izzy" and I closed her door over. I made my way over to the kitchen and grabbed another glass of wine collapsing on to the sofa. Things were going to change.