Everlasting Love

Chapter Seven

"It was the hardest part of my life. You had left, I learn your not coming home. I find out I'm pregnant, pregnant without you. It was the hardest thing for me. I'd had the first scan, that was the night I phoned you. I heard nothing. So the next day, I... I made an appointment to have an abortion. I just felt like I couldn't do it without you. I was in such a bad place. The following week I was at a different doctors surgery as mine didn't do abortions. I was in the waiting room and your Mum walked in. She asked me why I was there. I lost it. Totally lost it, I was lucky not to get thrown out. I broked down. Shouting and crying. I got put into an un-used room with her and I told her. She told me to cancel the appointment and she took me for coffee to talk. Nobody knew. Not even my parents. Think we spent all day in that coffee shop talking. Not been back there since. It somehow felt, I don't know... a little easier at the end. I didn't rearrange the appointment. Instead I called your Mum asking if she would come with me to the second scan. I still didn't know how I was going to tell my Mum and Dad. I'd stopped seeing them, kept saying work was busy and only phoned them. Your Mum never told your Dad, or I don't think she did anyway. She held my hand the whole way through the scan. Even when I found out it was a girl. Then... then once I'd had Izzy I'd arranged to meet your Mum. We met at a park when she was a few weeks old. She held her, she looked so happy. But I think she knew, deep down. I...I gave her a letter and we left shortly after that".

Telling Bone's what had happened he held me tightly, safely in his arms the whole time. His hand on my waist gently moving around circular motions knowing it comforted me. Our eyes never left each others. It somehow felt like a weight had been lifted from me. Nothing else left to hide. "Say something" I begged wanting to know what he was thinking as his face was his serious self, un-readable. "I can't believe you arranged for an abortion". I pleaded with him. "Bone's, I was in such a-". "No, hey. Sssh. I'm not angry. Or not at you anyways. If I'd have been their, you wouldn't have felt like that. You wouldn't have been on your own" I felt his arms tighten a little more round me. I knew it was coming, that burning question bubbling up inside me, bursting to come out. Before I did he continued speaking. "I'm always gonna regret not being there for you. For you both. But, what did you give Mum? The letter I mean". I sighed. "It was so hard writing it. I thanked her for everything, through the scan. For being like a second Mum to me for all those years. But..but I could see Izzy had your eyes. She had your surname. You were everywhere but nowhere. So many reminders of you, I couldn't take anymore. That's when I cut ties with everyone you were connected to. I said it'd be the last time she'd ever see us, I asked her for her forgiveness for not wanting to hate me. I left her with a photo of Izzy. And I asked her not to tell you. Whether she did or not, I had to trust". I cried again, burying my head into his chest again. He rubbed my back trying to stop me. *Drip drip drip* I got a fright feeling the cold water droplets land on my skin. Rain. Before we had a chance to do anything the heavens opened and it poured. Bone's let me go and grabbed my hand pulling me. It felt like a spark of electricity running through me as our hands connected. He gently spinned me round with my back pressed against the oak tree. He stayed as close as he could sheltering me from the rain. He rested his face on mine. I felt warmth from him. Another spark. I buried my head into him again inhaling his scent. It was so familiar, I missed him. I still felt so much for this man. I know he's a totally different person when he's Captain McClyde, but with me, so different. "Alex?" he looked shocked at me calling him by his name. I hardly ever used it. His eyes scanned mine. "Was their someone else? Is that why you left?" He tookd a moment before answering. "It was only ever you, trust me on that. But, but can we keep that for another day. It's been a lot to take in". As the shower lightened up and finally drew to a close we made our way back to the house in silence. Bone's went in first, I turned back staringat the oak tree. It felt like we had moved forward. I don't know what what we were, or were we were headed if anywhere other than parents. But right now, it was what was needed.

He spoke to his Mum as I took Izzy off to one side. They hugged, I felt a sense of relief knowing they'd be okay. Bone's came over and crouched down to Izzy's height. "I'm sorry for scaring you. I just got upset. Do you forgive me?" "Daddy said a bad word". He smirked and nodded glancing up at me. I raised my eyebrows. She was too clever. "I did, and I'll not use it again if you promise never to repeat it". I had to hand it to him, he is a good Dad. "I promise Daddy". She dived closer to him throwing her arms round his neck as they hugged. "Daddy?". "Yes princess?" I smiled, a new nickname for her. "I love you Daddy". I took a deep breath taking a step back. This was the first. It caught me off guard. Bone's looked to me with a smile so bright, I smiled back happy for him. "I love you too Izzy" He kissed her cheek repeatedly.

We left shortly after with a little more than we bargained for. The journey was silent apart from Izzy occasionally singing quietly to herself. It gave us time to reflect on our afternoon.