Hometown

Chapter 14

Her arm was propped under her head as she lay flat on her back on the bed she shared with Lucas, she just stared, her body completely still as her eyes opened and close slowly. Images were integrated inside of her, images were there and they couldn't be erased and the more she thought about it the more she realised these images, the images of the bruises littering her skin, the images of Lucas abusing her, were there forever and there was no getting rid of them. Somehow the emptiness rose within her even though she wasn't alone, not really. Standing up she blindly reached for her robe and wrapped it around her body, she walked out and padded quietly to the balcony, she snuck a glance at the Moses basket in the front room and smiled down at Susie who was sleeping peacefully, she glanced to Peter who was sleeping on the sofa and smiled again before opening the patio doors and getting some air as she felt like she was being suffocated all of a sudden. The sharpness of the air against her features made her burning skin cool down in an instant, even though it wasn't burning, the rolled up her sleeves and glanced to the scratch marks scattered across her silky smooth skin and she realised with Lucas gone for another week she would be able to heal completely but the more she thought about it and that if she did heal it would like Lucas had a blank canvas to work on, that hurt to think about, a lot. Her bruises were practically non-existent now and Lucas had been kinder with his punishments in the few days before he left she had a sliver of hope that maybe that was his attempt at remorse but in reality, she knew deep down it wasn't, even if it made her happy to think that it was the thought prior. Placing both of her hands on the cool metal of the bannister she breathed in deeply and closed her eyes, she wished, she wished for things to be different and she wished, once again, that the man she loved, Lucas, would come back from his business trip a changed man. Manifesting those thoughts seemed to do more for her than the reality of what she knew would happen when he came back. Holding her back from breaking free was love, the simplicity of love which she craved and which she got from Lucas but in a cruel and twisted way, a way in which she didn't know she was being manipulated to feel.

"Hey" Peter brings her out of her thoughts, she jumps slightly "Sorry"

"No it's fine, I couldn't sleep" she flashes him a smile, he nods slowly pulling out a packet of cigarettes "Can I?"

"Unlike you" he lights one and passes it to her, she smirks in response and takes a drag, Peter does the same with his "What are you doing out here anyway?"

"Watching the stars?"

"The stars?" he questions somewhat confused, she glances up and smiles slightly

"You see there" she points, "That's the Orion, the three brighter stars are the Orion's belt-"

"You've changed haven't you?"

"How do you mean?"

"Constellations are so unlike you" he comments, she sighs in response frowning "I don't mean that in an offensive way"

"it's just something me and Lucas used to do, it harder here though with the muggy polluted Manchester air," she says with a small smile "He always used to say that stars were special to him, I didnt really see it at first but when I did I realised how they could be special to me"

"How are they special to you then?" he questions glancing into the night sky, she takes a drag of her cigarette before following his gaze

"I like to make up my own constellations" she responds pointing into the night sky "You see those five stars there, they appear every night wherever I am and they remind me how far I've come in my life, the five loves, Paul, Liam, you, Nick and Lucas"

"Is Lucas the final one"

"He is" she confirms before glancing to the sky again, the five stars, "I told him this, about how I made up the constellation and how I believe that he is the last-"