CONFLICTED

Chapter 55| Confession

Chapter 55: Confession

Christopher

Rejection sliced through my insides. How could she say that after everything we've shared? Second choice? I would choose Tracy over them all at any fucking time or day.

"No, Tracy you're mistaken. I will never take you as a fallback plan. You're way past that shit to me. Anna—I mean, Rose and I had a thing going on and things were left unsaid. I only went to see her for proper closure and I got it. She broke up with me last year and she's still not going back on her decision."

"Oh really." she quipped, "Yet here you are three days, two hours and thirty two minutes later nick calling your ex-girlfriend Rose."

Sniffing on her jealousy, I fell at ease and smirked so hard at this damsel that never failed to amuse me.

"And how many seconds and microseconds?"

"What?"

"Anna's real name is Rose." I told her, "Annabelle is only her christened name."

Tracy looked confused but didn't pursue it. The last thing I needed right now was to discuss how my entire relationship with her was based on a lie anyway.

"The point is," she went on, "I'm not going to be your side chic. I've seen the way you idolize her and I know I can't compete with that. She even looks like something straight out of a modelling magazine and you, there's no way you really want to settle for me.

These past few days have been torture for me and I keep getting these mixed signals. Just when I feel like you reciprocate the feelings I have for you, Anna or some other girl is making me feel delusional for even thinking such in the first place. I've been daydreaming way too much, I guess. I always picture this prince charming ready to swipe me off my feet but this isn't a fairytale. This is you and this is me and there's no way you see someone like me in that light."

Contended and heart warmed by her candor, I tossed the blanket aside and stood up to cross over and meet her. Then I crouched before her and slowly took her small hands in mine. She watched me with doe eyes as I locked my fingers between hers and guided in pressing her palm on my chest while looking into her dark brown eyes that seemed to pull me under.

"Feel that?" I rasped out, "I'm not faking this shit. It's beating for you, just you. Every other girl can go to hell. It's been you all along. I chose you, Tracy."

•Rewind•

"You can't be serious." Kelvin spat but I ignored him and made last minute touches on my twist out in front of the mirror.

"Chris, you need to think this through. You really like this girl. You're just gonna toss her aside for someone you barely know?" he quizzed and I heaved.

"It's not about the time I spent with either of them, okay? I spent three months with Anne and things didn't work out. She broke up with me, remember?"

"True, but we both know her insecurities led her to do so. You're not gonna give her the benefit of doubt?"

"I've given it a lot of thought homie," I turned away from the mirror to face him squarely, "more than you think. Tracy makes me happy and Anna has always been too uptight and kept shit ton of secrets. It's too scary loving someone who can keep everything buried inside without giving the slightest clue. I don't know how long Tracy and I are gonna last for but till then, I want to not be with a girl that's unreadable and closed off just out of pity."

"Pity?"

"Yes, pity. All these while, I've been moping around about Anna because I had something to do with where she ended up. I love that girl, trust me I do but I've come to love Tracy more."