Ballad of a Broken Boy

When Nini needs a place to stay

Eventually I was all cried out. I slowly sat up, blinking away the last of the tears. I was shocked to see Ricky sitting there, looking down at me. We sat in awkward silence for a while, before he spoke.

"Well... are you okay?" he asked. I chuckled. "This is the second time in three days that you've seen me cry. Must be a record." I sighed. He laughed.

"I do tend to have that affect on the ladies. But I'm guessing you weren't crying about my undeniable good looks, so...what's wrong?" he asked me softly. I shrugged.

"Why do you care?" I asked him.

"I just do. I thought we were sort-of friends." He said, looking a little hurt, although I couldn't decide whether he was faking it or not.

"Well... the strange thing is, when I went to school on Monday, I hated your guts. I mean honestly, I wanted nothing to do with you. At all. I really, truly hated you." He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, okay, I think I get the point. I wasn't your favorite person in the world. So, has that changed?"

"Well, that's the thing. It has. I don't hate you anymore. I mean, you're still not my favorite person, but you've turned out to be not as bad as I always thought you were. And, I mean, after all you've said about how you always liked me and stuff... I guess I misjudged you, never gave you a chance. But, it seems a little soon. It's only been two days since we first managed to talk civilly." I explained. He sat there, looking thoughtful, until I had finished speaking.

"Then how about we get to know each other? We can just hang out a little, and if you realize I'm the guy you thought I was, you can ditch me. Sound good?" he said, completely serious. I thought for a moment, before nodding in agreement.

"Okay." I smiled.

"Good. So, you wanna tell me what was wrong with you?" he asked me. I sighed, feeling my eyes well up again at the reminder. I considered keeping it a secret; I hadn't even told Kourt yet, and she's my best friend. I also knew that if I kept it all bottled up it would drive me insane, so I started to tell him... and it all came pouring out. All the hatred and resentment I always felt for him, how much it hurt to know that he didn't deserve any of it.

"Wow. Sounds like you're parents really fucked up with this one didn't they?" he said bluntly. And just the way he said it, the way he wasn't afraid to say what I had been thinking, made me laugh and cry all over again.

"Yeah. Yeah, they did. But this isn't even something they can just fix... not like that. It's not like I can go speak to him and have everything be okay again because he'll be dead before we even have the chance to get to know each other!" I cried, feeling the crashing depression take over me once more. I saw the panic in Ricky's eyes and figured he probably didn't want to have to comfort me again, so I held it back, and managed to stop myself from crying again. He looked relieved.

"Well... maybe you shouldn't go see him. I mean, if you're already this cut up about it, imagine how hard it will be once you've met him, once you've known him. And isn't that the one thing he wanted to avoid? You being hurt when he dies?" he said slowly, and I could tell he was trying not to piss me off, but it didn't work.

"So you expect me to just sit here, knowing that my father will be dead soon, the father I've never even met, and not even attempt to go meet him? Sure, that's going to happen." I said sarcastically. He sighed, shrugging.

"I figured you would be like that. But it was worth a try." He shrugged. And just like that, the anger was gone. I relaxed, and we sat like that, in silence, for a while. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Do you think you could do me a favor?" I asked him. He smiled.

"Which hospital is he in?" he asked me. I blinked, confused.