From Night On: Pathways

Chapters 29-30

Chapter 29:

Broken

(Les)

The flight was long with many transitions. No commercial jet could land on the small island, so I had to hop from island to island in small planes as I made my way toward a larger airport where an airliner would take me the rest of the way to India. The small planes were piloted by locals who didn't have radios and enjoyed a good conversation along their flights. One man made an awkward joke about my blindness. "You're not going to be distracted by the view," he said, "so let's talk." I wasn't offended, but, by the time we landed, he said his head was spinning and that he might rethink asking a strangers to tell him their life's story.

Once I moved over to a commercial flight, I had access to my Cloud through a laptop I bought from the airport and the attendants were kind enough to help me by setting up a text to speech program that allowed me to listen to the entries in the journal. It was difficult for me to sit and listen to the horrors Hessa was submitted to and the struggle she was enduring. It was a seven hour flight on the commercial plane and listening to the entries filled up less than half that time. For the remainder of the flight, I thought about what I was going to say and how I was going to approach her. All I wantedto do was hold her and hear her voice say those three magic words.

When I stepped off the plane, I was met by Yael and Thupten Jinpa. I wasn't hard to spot. When they got my attention and told me who they were, I warmly greeted them and hugged Yael for how much she had been there for Hessa and told Thupten Jinpa what an honor it was to meet him, but I couldn't help asking, "Where is she?" A long silence proceeded and I got scared. "Is she okay?"

"Les," Thupten Jinpa spoke, "Rav showed up at the monastery."

"WHAT?!?" I yelled as we stood near the terminal. I felt the heat rising in mybody and Yael slapped me on the shoulder to get my attention. "Is she okay?!? Where is she?"

"She's okay," Yael said, keeping me in arm's reach, "but she ran away."

"She...," I didn't know what to say. "What happened?"

"Are you caught up on the journal?" Yael asked me as they guided me to customs to claim the sword.

"Yes," I said, "I know about Amy and all that you've done to help her, Thupten Jinpa. Thank you."

"It has been my pleasure," he said, "but, now, my concern is helping her find her way back."

"Yes," I said, trying to remain calm. "Did she run to draw Rav away?"

"No," Yael answered with a tone that expressed both pride and shock, "she tore him to pieces."

"She beat him?" I responded. "Where is he now?"

"In pieces," she answered and nearly laughed. "He is being held in multiple jars with talismans keeping him from pulling himself back together."

"She literally...," I said.

"Yes," Yael answered.

"Les," Thupten Jinpa interrupted, "I don't know how much the journal could have prepared you for, but she is waging a very powerful battle within." He placed his hand on my shoulder. "Even if we find her, you might not be able to recognize her. I want you to be prepared for that. She's not the same person you knew."

"Perhaps," I said, the thought of my loved one being there, but gone, caused a feeling of helplessness, "we can discuss this along the drive."

We retrieved the sword from customs and began driving. If I could have stared out the window, that's exactly what I would have been doing. I didn't know what to say or what to do. All I knew was that I wanted to see her, but that wasn't an option, so all I wanted to do was holdher, or, at least, know she was somewhere safe. "What do we do about Rav?" I asked, breaking the silence and trying to think about something else.