Back for Me

ch1

Hai Guize,

Soo im starting my fic tonight it’s a Zarry fic because it just works jaja when i picture the bromances they are all soo alike but they have these little things that set them apart to the point where only this pairing would work for my fic plus wouldn’t Zayn make the cutest couple with harry!!! i mean ermuhgawd that’s like perfection being pooped out by a unicorn!...anyways enjoy to the maximum!!! 

Zayn’s POV

“Big Boy-band splitting up?” read the articles. I could not believe how cruel the media was being, well they were being honest it just hurt to see how much our fans hated the change, it was so drastic and I doubt anyone was ready for it. I doubt even I was ready for it; I didn’t know how I would react. I wasn’t planning on telling anyone. Not now not ever. They didn’t need to know the details. I feel like a terrible person for doing this to the boys. I was destroying their dream

We have worked so hard for everything we have achieved everyone has, I can’t believe I’m letting it all go to waste. Maybe I should talk to someone. But I can’t who would I talk to? Those rumors were right the lads were already beginning to talk about giving up and starting a new life. I couldn’t let that happen I have to open up to someone I need to be able to confide in someone but who? Las time I tried to open up I ended up in this mess. I simply can’t open up to the lads they already hate me for ruining their dreams and they will hate me even more after they find out, they will find out. They are the closest people I have; I have to tell them no matter what even if they hate me just this is not the right time.

One Week Later

I can’t believe it! Harry left? Just like that? He grabbed his things and said it was nice knowing us. Why, was it that bad? Was I that out of control?  I wanted to tell them today I was just going to let down my walls and let myself explain everything but he left. Is everyone going to leave? I can’t do this, I can’t let my walls down nothing can make me open up now. Not after that.

“Thanks a lot stupid asshole” Louis snapped me out of my thoughts “and wipe those fake tears off your face you inconsiderate bastard” I can’t believe he was being this harsh. Louis had changed. He had changed a lot. After him and harry split up he lost his sass he was just rude. He has become so quiet, he barely talks and when he does it is only to give a rude remark “I can’t stay here any longer, you fucked everything up for me.  What am I saying not just me, but for all of us.  Look at this ever since your… your… whatever the fuck happened that weekend you have been nothing but a pain in the ass” and with that he was out the door he just left.

 I knew it everyone would leave. No one wants to be stuck with me I’m just a burden no one wants to deal with.

“It’s ok Z, well I mean this is over but don’t worry about it. Every ending is a new beginning maybe this will lead to something better. I know something is bothering you, Zayn I know this isn’t some phase, I can tell that you have a big problem that you won’t tell anyone about but please if anything is to come out of this situation it should be for the better. Zayn I’m not asking you to tell me what’s wrong, I’m asking you to get help. Don’t tell anyone if you are afraid of being judged do it privately. But Zayn please help yourself we do care about you. None of us blame you not even Lou, Lou only said those things because it was here with us that he learned to let go. He never told anyone but in the beginning he only acted carefree as a way to cope with his issues but with us he learned to let go of the issues and truly be free be a child at heart. It’s only natural that it hurts him that we’re splitting up because in a way we were a huge part of the innocent child he carries inside. Don’t worry Zayn we will all still keep in touch and I hope you get help and who knows maybe in the future we can get back together! We love you Zayn and we only want what’s best for you.” With that he walked out of the room.

After a while Liam came back into the room and sat down next to me. We just sat in silence for a while before he turned to me hugged me and said “well bud we had a great run while it lasted but well I’ll see you around just please stay in touch we love you” he had now left. He didn’t want to stay behind to make sure everyone left ok because he was broken, he would not have been able to handle it. I’m glad he left he seemed so broken even if he was trying to be strong for us his breaking point was near and I did not want to witness it for it would only make me feel guilty. Niall walked into the room shortly after Liam left tears cascading down his face. It broke me to see him like this. Seeing him like this made me angry at myself I can’t believe my idiocy led to this. I should have known better. I got up to hug Niall, he didn’t move away but he didn’t move either he just stood there limp in my arms. At that point I wanted so much to take it all back I wanted to make things better for everyone. “Well you can’t” he said sounding defeated “it’s impossible to take it back what is done is done” at this point I was crying, I felt like I was dying inside I felt very guilty. Apparently it showed a lot because next thing I know Niall is hugging me saying “Aww Zayn don’t worry it’s not your fault! It’s everyone’s fault. We all fucked up we all had issues, we were so caught up in our own little worlds we didn’t realize each other’s suffering but Zayn we love you just please remember that. Please stay in touch we care about you more than you think” I hugged him back and muttered a thank you before he pulled away and said “well I need to go buddy but I love you and we will stay in touch! Take care and call me when you get home or wherever your destination may be.” And with that he walked out the door.